Before we begin, I’d just like to say that the family of Luke Perry are in my thoughts this week. I absolutely loved him on Riverdale. I can’t imagine the pain they are going through. He was taken way too young. 

Fire, Walk With Me

Oh, interesting. This week’s episode is called Fire Walk With Me. Riverdale is drawing from Twin Peaks for its episode name this week. Does that mean the show is going to be even weirder this week with a dose of David Lynch?

Alice welcomes prospective buyers into her home. She’s going by Smith now. Is that her maiden name? Betty fills in the history of the house for the buyers, little things like her serial killer father used to live here. You know, no big deal fun facts.

The owner of the gym confronts Archie. Apparently, Arch has been using the gym for free. He needs to either start paying dues or do some chores around the gym.

Not exactly Jets vs. Sharks

There’s a weird showdown in an empty classroom between some G&G heads, some farmies and the Pretty Poisons. Jughead and Toni break up the fight, but somehow they’re the ones in trouble. Principal Weatherbee informs them that the chem lab was burglarized last night too. He puts them both on notice. If either of their gangs step out of line, he’ll expel the two of them.

Hiram is hosting Gladys and some others at Veronica’s club, La Bon Nui. He doesn’t plan on paying. Veronica is too much in the hole to him, so he expects everything comped. Later, Veronica realizes they’re losing too much money. She suggests to Reggie she bring back the casino night, saying they could have their debts paid off in weeks if they do. She also calls her place a “secret” speakeasy. Is there anyone not in on this “secret?”

Say Hello to Archie’s Little Friend

Josie visits Archie at the gym after hours. They hear a noise! It’s a little kid with a Zippo lighter. His name is Ricky. Who is this kid? Archie and Josie take him to Pops. He eats like the little kid in Dick Tracy. Seriously, who is this kid? When Josie mentions social services, Ricky bolts. Social Services had sent him to the Santa Lucia shelter previously. At the shelter, some older guys gave him a Gargoyle brand! He’s not going back.

Archie sets up Ricky at his house, and fills him in on his plans. He’s going to get him set up at Pops during the day, and train him in boxing after school. Archie swears not to call Social Services about him.

Toni is not happy with Cheryl. She threatens to suspend Cheryl from the gang if she doesn’t reign herself in. Cheryl doesn’t seem to get that she almost got Toni expelled today.

Kevin is in way deep at the Farm. He doesn’t even acknowledge Betty as she waves to him as he passes by.

Archie explains to the gang that the brand on Ricky’s arm means he’s a sacrifice. It’s the same one Archie has. Betty suggests calling Ms. Weiss. Archie agrees. It immediately occurs to me and not Archie that Ms. Weiss works at Social Services.

Sssomething Ssssinister in Sssssserpentland

Things are getting heated in Serpent land. The former Gargoyles aren’t behaving. Jughead asks about the chem lab being robbed. “Looting the alchemist’s lair was one of our more rewarding quests,” says Kurtz, the former Gargoyle leader. Someone give this guy a wedgie already! The Serpents and the Gargoyles almost throw down, but Jughead heads it off at the pass. Jughead leads them all through the Serpent laws. When Kurtz refuses to recite them, Jughead kicks him from the gang. Kurtz doesn’t back down and threatens to kick Jughead and company form the gang, since the Gargoyles now outnumber the Serpents in the Serpents.

Veronica shows off the casino night equipment to La Bon Nui’s fully underage staff. Because if you’re going to run an underground gin joint and casino, why not have an underage staff as well? Go for that trifecta of indictments! Josie asks, “What if we’re raided?” To which, Veronica basically answers with “Cabinets! We’ll hide everything in cabinets!” They all look at her in awe at this genius answer.

Jughead heads to Skeet for advice. Skeet calls him “boy” and honestly, I love it. I don’t know what I love more, Hiram calling Veronica m’hija, or Skeet calling Jughead boy.

At Pops, Archie can’t find Ricky. Pops tells him some thugs came by and scared him off. He shows Archie the placemat drawing Ricky left behind. It looks like something from Grant Morrison’s Batman run.

Betty peeks in on a farm meeting, which is everyone just holding their hands over bunsen burners. Nothing weird about that group!

Ms. Weiss meets with Archie and Betty. She calls Santa Lucia “one of the better homes in town.” Ruh-roh. A sketch artist makes a great rendering of Ricky.

M’hija counter: 1.

Hiram is excited to find out about Veronica’s casino night. He wants to show off the place with an executive from a playing card company. Veronica hopes to have some of her debt shaved off if she helps Hiram land this client.

Gladys, hanging out a La Bon Nui, tells Veronica and Reggie about her younger days performing at the White Wyrm. She calls herself the Joan Jett of Riverdale. For 5% off the debt she owes her, Veronica agrees to let Gladys perform at the club.

Betty tries to enlist Josie’s help in freeing Kevin from the clutches of the Farm. She looks like she raided Bill Cosby’s closet with that sweater.

Jughead shows the drawing of Ricky to the Serpents. He wants the Serpents to help find Ricky. Kurtz says there are outliers out there, Gargoyles who didn’t join the Serpents. Sweet Pea is surprised there are Gargoyles crazier than these guys. I tend to agree with Sweet Pea on this one. Side note, I keep accidentally typing Sweat Pea. I almost also leave it Sweat Pea. What is wrong with me?

Gladys performs at La Bon Nui. Hiram’s business contact heckles Gladys as she sings. In answer, Gladys flashes a knife. Reggie boots the playing card guy, possibly costing Hiram a million dollar deal. Who could have pictured something going wrong on casino night of all nights?

Me, Walk on Fire

The farmies take turns walking over hot coals. Betty tries to stop him He doesn’t. He’s totally into Farmville now.

The next day, the hunt is still on for Ricky. Jughead suggests going to Gargoyle ground zero. At the abandoned Gargoyle hangout, they find a list of names of people to be sacrificed. And behind that, they find Ricky. Jughead suggest they get the hell out of there. Besides Archie and Ricky, the Warden, a bunch of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy and Dilton Doiley’s name also appears on the list.

Wild Wild Farmies

Kevin and Farm Girl confront Betty in the school newspaper office. Kevin threatens to tell everyone about Betty’s family killing Chip last season if she goes forward with publishing the article. Apparently Alice telling everything to the farmies does have ramifications. Kevin has now gone full Wild Wild Country.

Archie trains Ricky in boxing. Ricky says he was branded because he refused to be a drug runner for the Gargoyles.

Jughead wants the Serpents to go after the rogue Gargoyles. Toni bursts in, saying Kurtz is about to kill Fangs Fogerty. Kurtz and another Gargoyle have Fangs hanging from the second floor landing. Jughead tries to talk them down, but they drop Fangs. Luckily, Jughead and Sweet Pea get under him. But all I’m thinking is WHERE IS THE SCHOOL STAFF???

Veronica finds Gladys behind the bar serving herself a generous pour. Hiram walks in, taking full credit for the casino as he schmoozes a client. Reggie wants to rehire the Serpents. The club is profiting thanks to the casino. Their income has doubled.

Archie finds Ricky trying on his letterman jacket. He tells Ricky he can keep the jacket. Archie says he wants to introduce Ricky to his dad and I almost cry at the thought of seeing one of Luke Perry’s final scene on the show.

Boy Counter: 2

Jughead fills in Skeet on what happened.  Skeet tells him to take action, but not before emphatically calling him boy. If NYCC offers a chance to have Skeet call me boy, I will hand over my money so fast.

Over milkshakes at Pops, Veronica offers Toni jobs for her Pretty Poisons at La Bon Nui. Toni quickly agrees when she sees the envelope of cash Veronica is offering as an advance.

Flip This Murder House

Alice is packing. She sold the house! Apparently there’s a mystery buyer who either doesn’t care or is really into murder houses. Also, apparently home sales move VERY quickly in Riverdale. They need to get packed and get out ASAP.

Jughead invited Skeet to a Serpent meeting. The Gargoyles and Serpents aren’t happy. Skeet is going to deputize all of them. They’ll get paid and get school credit. Interesting. Skeet wants a unanimous vote. Most everybody agrees, but Kurtz walks out. No one is sad to see him go.

While hanging out with Ricky at home, Archie gets a call from Ms. Weiss. She tells him that Ricky’s last name is DeSantos. He’s Joaquin’s younger brother, you know, the guy who tried to kill Archie. Her file shows that Ricky has a history of violent behavior and self-harm. When Archie returns to the room, Ricky is gone. Arch searches for him throughout the house. Ricky sneaks up behind him with a chef’s knife! He says “this is the only way the Gargoyles will let me in.” It turns out Ricky gave himself the mark and added his own name to the sacrifice board! He stabs Archie!

Archie would be dead if his dad didn’t walk in right then. Man, all the feels when Luke Perry saves his son. I’m going to miss him on Riverdale.

Fred cleans Archie up. On the kitchen floor, they find the “Kill the Red Paladin” quest card from G&G.

Cheryl’s always Cheryl

Cheryl is giving Toni the cold shoulder. She’s not happy that Toni took the La Bon Nui gig without consulting her. With Cheryl, everything is always about Cheryl.

Pretty Poisons prevent Cheryl from entering La Bon Nui. Veronica tells her to step off. The same goes for Hiram. M’hija counter goes to 2, but Hiram is still shown the door. I like watching Veronica flex on the old folks. What could possibly go wrong though?

Fire, Walk with Betty

Betty seems ready for the Farm. She certainly like the self-inflicted pain part of the whole deal. She holds her palm over a candle’s flame. Betty surveys the house, which is now almost completely packed up. Betty, what are you planning on doing with that lit candle?

Archie, Jughead and the Serpents take over Gargoyle HQ. Archie is having a crisis of faith. He’s been marked for death for too long. Jughead tells him to make the G&G he’s still unwillingly playing come to a head. Betty enters, looking very cheerful.

Alice comes home to find the Cooper house ablaze. Oh, Betty…

RIVERDALE

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