I cry in movies. A lot. There are movies that inevitability get me going. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is my favorite movie of all time and also the movie I watch whenever I go through a breakup. It never fails get me going. Her is also a big waterworks catalyst. Hell, even The Fast and the Furious 7 made me cry when that car crashed through four skyscrapers in a row. Sublime.

That said, never in my life did I think I was going to cry during a Marvel movie. But last night during Avengers: Infinity War, I did. Several times. Maybe it was just the collective building wave of catharsis for a decade’s worth of films that cascaded over me all at once. Maybe these movies have been written better than I’ve previously given them credit for.

Either way, I’ve cataloged every time I cried during Infinity War here so you can join me in my grief and sublime joy.

Spoilers, obviously.

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Loki’s Sacrifice

I’ve never been the biggest fan of Loki. Tom Hiddleston brings a great deal to the role and I know plenty of people adore him, but I’ve never seen a lot redeeming qualities in the guy. He’s more than willing to feed members of his family to the dogs for just the slightest taste of power. He’s constantly scheming and only slightly interested in redemption.

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That said, Thor: Ragnarok really did a lot for the character. By the end of that film, it really did seem like Loki was actually interested in trying to redeem himself, returning to Earth in order to help lead the Asgardian refugees. Then everything changed when Thanos attacked.

When Thanos started torturing Thor to get Loki to reveal the location of the Tessarect, I was sure Loki would find a way to take his leave and the stone along with him. Surprisingly though, he didn’t. He gave Thanos the stone in exchange for Thor’s life. Okay, I thought. Good for you, Loki.

And then he pulled out the dagger. And my eyes went wide. I whispered to myself, “you are not gonna do this. You are not that good.” But he was. And he did. And he died for it. And I was absolutely beside myself, tearing up for the biggest shit in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Drax’s Dicing

There are a lot of people who want to kill Thanos, but only one of them will get to land the fatal blow. While Thor is clearly the most prepared to kill the mad titan throughout this movie, I’ve always been on Team Drax. I mean, killing Thanos and getting revenge for the deaths of his daughter and wife is basically is only motivation. And he’s so earnest about it that it’s hard not to respect his one wish in life, even if it’s likely a death wish.

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So yeah, his unplanned assault on Thanos in the Collector’s lair was stupid. But I was pumped. This means so much to Drax and you can see it in his face as he rushes towards his mortal enemy. He feels vengeance coursing through his veins so strongly that you can’t help but feel it too. You want this for him. You need this burly sack of muscles to finally be able to relax. It’s going to happen. You can feel it. And. Then.

Snap.

Drax stops midair and falls apart, disassembling into Picasso-esque cubes. Mantis turns to ribbons right behind him. And you SCREAM. “WHAT THE HELL.” Not only did they actually use the reality stone correctly, they used it to BRUTALIZE two of the most easily lovable secondary characters in the MCU.

It’s at that point you realize Infinity War sucks and all it wants to do is make you sad. And you’re still angry crying even when Thanos’ curse is undone and Drax and Mantis are put back together. You fling those tears at the Russos for causing this.

This is your fault, you whisper, hoping they can hear you from their swimming pool of cash.

WAKANDA FOREVER

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Every time Ludwig Goransson’s “Wakanda” theme started playing during Infinity War, I was ready to throw my arms up in rapturous glee. Black Panther not only smashed records– it smashed my heart. It’s currently my favorite Marvel movie for its daring and bold visual choices, unparalleled supporting cast, and obviously the charm of T’Challa himself. Any chance we have to spend more time in the Afro-Futurist paradise with Okoye, M’Baku, and Shuri is a chance I’ll hold onto for dear life.

But the whole time, I was waiting for a moment. That moment. And when it finally came, with an army of Thanos’ minions at the gate, I started FREAKING out. As the camera zoomed in on Chadwick Boseman’s regal face I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

And he did it. He crossed his arms. He screamed “Wakanda Forever.” The Dora Milaje and the Border tribe screamed it back. I screamed. I cried.

Vision’s Traumatizing Fate

Scarlet Witch’s and Vision’s romance in the MCU has been…rocky, to say the least. I don’t mind Elizabeth Olsen despite her uneven accent and think that Paul Bettany has done a surprisingly solid job of pretending to be a tin man for so many years. I mean…the make up alone is a test of endurance. But they haven’t really had a lot of time to build their relationship in the films and the actors have next to no chemistry.

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That said, what happens to Vision at the end of Infinity War left traumatized for life. As Thanos lands on Earth, five Infinity Stones in hand, Vision begs his partner to kill him. Wanda refuses, but Vision keeps on begging. Their faces in this moment really sell the scene for me and for if only one time, I really do feel like these two love each other. And so it’s brutal when Wanda finally does what Vision asks, blasting her own lover to bits.

Of course, Thanos has the fucking Time Stone now, so we get to watch a ridiculously painful scene where Vision, having just sacrificed himself to save the universe, is put back together from nothing. And then, before he realizes what’s happening, Thanos rips the Mind Stone out of his head. And you see Vision, color draining from his body, collapse to the ground with a giant hole in his “skull.”

Just think about that. You begged the person whom you loved most in the world to kill you. And she did it, thinking it was the only way to save the universe. You died so she could live. But then, from nothing you return. Fully formed. Having failed. Realizing that for only the briefest moment before Grimmace reaches into your head and kills you again.

Tell me that doesn’t just fill you with too much existential dread. Oh, and yeah. As your partner cries over your toneless body, she turns to dust too because you both failed.

Okoye’s face as her king gets dusted

Okoye actress Danai Gurira is an international treasure and we need to protect her (well, she doesn’t really need protection but I’m just saying. She’s wonderful). Her face is so expressive. Just look at that still and tell me you don’t feel joy welling up from the center of your heart.

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Her eyes speak volumes. And Infinity War knows that. She gives Bruce Banner in the Hulkbuster suit a side-eye early on that will be immortalized as a gif very soon. And then, at the end of Infinity War, Danai’s eyes ruin us.

As T’Challa wanders through the brutalized battleground inside Wakanda, he finds Okoye lying prone in the grass. The kind king we’ve come to idolize reaches towards her, telling her that “this is no place to die.” She looks towards him. She knows and we know that nobody says a line like that unless they’re about to have something horrible happen to them.

And yeah. It does. He turns to ash right in front of Okoye, arm still outstretched. And there’s this mix of confusion, horror, and sorrow on Okoye’s face that turned me into a huge wreck.

Lord knows Marvel can’t kill their cash cow, but god did Danai’s acting make me feel like they just did.

“Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.”

This is the big one, guys. The one the Russos milked extra hard because they knew how much it would hurt. And oh man, it did.

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Clocking in at an extra thirty seconds longer than any other scene where a major character fades to dust, as Tony Stark cradles Peter Parker in his arms you realize just how awful this is for the both of them. Tony has failed to protect someone he cares about again. He was Peter’s surrogate dad and can do nothing to stop him from turning to nothingness.

And god does Tom Holland sell this moment hard. Every movement. Every moment where his voice fills more and more with fear. As his quippy speech morphs into a painful whimper. As he tells Tony “I don’t want to go.” This is the moment. This is where even the most cynical viewer has to break.

Marvel finally found their perfect Spider-Man and then they killed him. It was even more messed up than you thought it could be.

26 COMMENTS

  1. The part that got me was the flashback to Gamora as a child and Thanos taking her in. Reminded me of one of my favorite Starlin stories, a short holiday/Christmas with Thanos and Gamora.

  2. That’s so right about the acting selling the massacre at the end. You know at least some of it will be undone, but the actors reminded you so well that their characters don’t know it. (Of course not everyone in the crowd has spent enough time reading comics to know that it will be at least somewhat undone either, and their shock/horror helped collectively sell the moment as well.)

  3. I was in distress (that is absolutely the right word) when Thanos in the lead up to and when Thanos began his counter-punch and dealt with the Hulk. The way Hulk was played by Ruffalo in Ragnarok, the Hulk is basically a big child, in his movement and everything. The Russos went straight for my heart and they got it, overwhelmingly.

    Loki I could see. Spider-Man was beautiful. The Russos paid off in spades and they lived up to their potential across the entire board.

  4. This film was incredible. The last hour was so intense it felt like I was holding my breath. Even if (and when) many of these heroes are revived, it doesn’t take away from how effective Infinity War was.

  5. didi you realize that the picture on top (part of the trailers) is not part of the movie? It should be a part of Avengers 4… which means that black panther will leave again!

  6. I loved the movie, but it was hard for me to feel that badly for any of the characters when it’s clear as soon as Black Panther dissolves that they’re going to be resolving it by hitting the Cosmic Reset Button in Don’t-Call-It-Infinity-War-Part-2. Holland nailed his moment, though.

    Because the story can *only* be resolved via the Cosmic Reset Button aka the Deus Ex Machina (or, uh, Deus Ex Gauntletica?), I think it was a mistake to schedule Don’t-Call-It-Infinity-War-Part-2 for as long as a year after Infinity War. The second part of these two-part movies should be scheduled to hit theaters no later than six months after their first parts — and honestly, I’d prefer it if the conclusions were slotted for just three months after their first halves.

  7. I came looking for a reaction to the spider man part, because as someone who saw the (temporary) onslaught coming and who almost never gets emotional in movies, I had to clench my jaw. But it only worked because Tom Holland sold it so good. Zoe Saldana was also excellent, even if she wasn’t in the big final fatality lineup.

    I agree that the sequel being next year is a mistake though, with some pissANT (see what I did there) movie supposedly acting as a 1.5 in the interim.

  8. @Kris: Not only is Ant-Man & the Wasp rumored to take place in wrap-around of the events of Infinity War and Don’t-Call-It-Infinity-War-Part-2, the Captain Marvel movie is going to be a Don’t-Call-It-Infinity-War-Part-0, given that it will depict the origin of a character never even mentioned in the Marvel Cinematic Universe before Nick Fury pages her in the end-credits sting. Two twentysomethings in the row behind me on Thursday night were even befuddled by what that symbol in the pager meant when they saw it. So, really, Captain Marvel needed to have already been established in the MCU so that the meaning of her symbol would have any resonance for anybody who doesn’t read the comics.

    In some ways, this is poor scheduling by MCU showrunner Kevin Feige. Irrespective of how the tone of a movie can influence when it’s scheduled — I mean, Disney clearly wants their summer Marvel movie to be a comedy, hence Ant-Man & the Wasp in July — the release sequence of these four movies should have been:

    1. Captain Marvel
    2. Infinity War
    3. Don’t-Call-It-Infinity-War-Part-2
    4. Ant-Man and the Wasp.

    Instead of 2-4-1-3.

    They’re going to have to do a lot of unnecessary damage control explaining the sequence of these four movies over the next year *because the audience doesn’t know Captain Marvel yet.*

  9. I wish it were six months, too! But I’ll live. And although I know they’ll reverse a lot of this, I also have to remember that I’m the kind of weirdo who goes to sites like this, so I’m not a normal viewer at all. At the end of the movie in my cinema, the woman next to me, who had been gasping through out the climatic final scene said, “What am I supposed to do with that!?” I think its easy for those of us who’ve read a lot of comics and seen lots of resets to forget how novel, and traumatizing, that might be for some people. I was personally a little disappointed in the movie, but the audience’s engagement with it lifted the enjoyment factor for me.

  10. Omar, in regards to that scene with the Hulk on Wakanda, I think that the Russo brothers made a change in the movie and rather than have Hulk take place in the battle on earth, they went ahead and put Banner into the Iron Man Hulkbuster suit. As Hulk is in parts of the trailer that are in the movie but with the Hulkbuster suit instead of Hulk.

    I also agree that they should have done their money makers like Black Panther and Spider-Man last. As soon as you see the Black Panther go, you know that they are going to be hitting that reset button because of how much money the Black Panther made.

  11. I’m pretty sure that Spider-Man’s final line was cut-off as he faded to dust. I think he was trying to say, “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, Mr. Stark. I don’t want to go back to Sony”.

  12. Spidey aint dead nor the rest of the dusted characters or at least theye won’t be, they are dead now but all will return apart from loki vision and gamora. BTW how didn’t you cry at thanos killing gamora not to mention gamora begging Peter to kill her

  13. Is Gamora really dead, though? Her body is, but her soul may still be alive. They might reverse them all (except Loki and Heimdall) and replace them with other deaths (Steve, Tony, maybe Thor and Bruce. Even Nat and Clint. Solo movie talk could be a fake out.)

  14. Does anyone else think it was a weird choice for the dream Stark-Potts baby to be named “Morgan”? Morgan Stark in the Marvel Comics Universe was the sketchy Stark cousin that betrayed Anthony Stark multiple times.

  15. I feel like crying only out of anger over how much this movie sucked! My expectations were so high because of all the hype. How can you kill off these characters by making them just disappear. What a let down.

  16. “They’re going to have to do a lot of unnecessary damage control explaining the sequence of these four movies over the next year *because the audience doesn’t know Captain Marvel yet.*”

    Nah, they did it right. That stinger made all the non-comic folk say, “Whaaaa?”. Now they’re going to get a movie explaining who she is and why Nick called her, before she appears in “A4” and rallies the survivors to go take on Thanos for all the marbles. The other way around wouldn’t have worked as well.

  17. @rcapprotti

    “you cried you literally cried at this train wreck of a move, you’re as bad as a person at the end of infinity war you people are pathetic”

    Here, let me fix all that for you:

    “You cried, you literally cried, at this train wreck of a movie? You’re as bad as a person who passed out at the end of “Infinity War”. You people are pathetic!”

    If you’re going to be a supercilious jerk, at least be a grammatically coherent supercilious jerk. :)

  18. My tear-jerker moment is when Thanos returns home and sits down and finally can rest… The cello music and the expressions on his face that go from weary, to sad, to a smile of completion gets me every time. It’s at that moment, that moment where I’m both sad and somehow confusingly happy for Thanos.

    He honestly believes this was the right thing to do. What he wanted to prevent he’s seen not only on his homeworld but on other worlds as well. Hell even our planet is nearing the point we’ll be at each other’s throats for survival.

    He wanted to end the cycle of struggle and he paid a horrible cost to do it. It cause him… “everything”…

    And yet… he smiles, because he did what had to be done. He did what no one else was willing to do.

  19. All of these made me cry, but something that made me sob like a baby and feel utter shock was Bucky’s death. He didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. He just said, “Steve…?” and Steve barely had time to kneel down next to his newly healed best friend before he turned to ash right in front of him. Steve just lost Bucky for the second time, but now, he knows for sure that he’s dead. Before, there was always room for, “Well, we didn’t see him die, so maybe….” But now, Steve has really and truly lost him (it seems that way to him, anyway — not the audience, we know they’ll all come back). It broke me, and I’m still recovering, a week later.

  20. If you want to see a movie that will leave you “broken,” see Make Way for Tomorrow, or Blow-Out, or Vertigo, or The Purple Rose of Cairo. The shattering endings of those movies weren’t erased by sequels.

    Infinity War gives people an excuse to PLAY at feeling sad about a “tragic” ending. But we know that most (and maybe all) of these characters will be revived in 2019. Fans are just indulging in a lot of posturing. They know that nothing is really at stake. It never is with corporate characters that can’t grow old and die.

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