Just as a tortilla chip is a transport vehicle for tasty, sizzlin’ salsa, the Super Bowl is a container for movie trailers and advertisements. It happened to be a very exciting football game, if you liked Emperor Palpatine the Patriots,  but what could be more exciting than a new season of Stranger things!

Here’s the most important stuff, in case you were stinking up the bathroom.

• All kinds of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 stuff, including a new trailer set to “The Chain” by Fleetwood Mac – a bit heavier than previous songs, and darker than the mostly comedic content of the trailer.

In case that did not set your heart fluttering enough, the official GOTG 2 twitter released gifs of most of the cast dancing and flexing. My heart.

And director James Gunn ‘grammed a good view of Elizabeth Debicki as Ayesha, aka “Her.”

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Elizabeth Debicki as Ayesha.

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AND they released this suepr cool poster. Damn it, is there nothign about this promo campaign that isn’t perfect?

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Verdict: CANNOT WAIT.

• There was a new Logan trailer. It’s easy to cut a trailer that makes a superhero movie look like a heartbreaking remake of The Professional…if this movie is half as good as the trailers,  it’ll be three times as good as the previous two Wolverine movies combined. In other words…don’t F it up.

 

• This Stranger things 2 trailer was the most popular thing shown during  Super Bowl LI, according to folks who measure that stuff. It looks like we haven’t heard the last of the Upside Down, and there’s some “slender monster” action coming. It’s coming out at Halloween.

 

 

Verdict: CANNOT WAIT.

 

• I have never seen a Fast & The Furious movie, but I hear there is another one coming out.

 

 

• Oops, this Audi ad drew complaints for suggesting there is a wage gap. I remember that one Super Bowl when all the ads were horrible sexist/racist fart gags. We’ve come a long way.

 

• I thought this was a remake of Alien, but it’s Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gylenhaal in a scary space movie directed by Daniel Espinosa (Safe House.)

 

 

• Despite repeated pleas, they will not stop making Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

• Here’s the ad that featured Stan Lee, Tina Fey, Viola Davis and so on, all telling us you can make your dreams some true.

 

• Sexy Mr. Clean. Nuff said.

 

 

Finally, after all that feel good stuff, The Handmaid’s Tale is coming from Hulu to remind us that we live in a dystopian hellscape. Margaret Atwood and the Super Bowl. Truly, there are no rules.