We’ve all heard that godawful Rod Stewart song “Batman, Superman, Spiderman” that I dislike so much I’m not even going to link to it. It’s a small but the “Mixing Spider-Man with heroes from DC Comics” song genre features some potent entries, and only some of them feature Superman.


Mohammed Aziz and Sadhana Sargam – Tu Mera Superman
This clip was making the rounds online a while back, and just the spectacle of the dancers in Superman and Spider-Man costumes are enough to make it worthwhile without the lyrics reflecting anything about those costumes, but I’m here to tell you it’s indeed a multi-faceted experience that is satisfying on many artistic levels.

Tu Mera Superman translates into “You are my Superman,” which is unfortunately followed up in the song with the lyric “I am your lady. Though the song does contain the curious, cryptic line “You have landed for me from the warehouse,” there’s nothing more in it about Superman or superheroes in general, but the “You are my Superman” line is repeated over and over.

The musical scene is from director K. Ravi Shankar’s 1988 film Diriya Dil, which translates to “Heart Heart” and is considered a fantasy break from what I have seen described as a fairly typical family drama about two sons seeking revenge on their rich but miserly father, and a tax official who ends up in prison, causing his siblings to try and steal the miserly guy’s fortune. I think I have that right. Is that a typical plot in Indian film? I have no idea.



Scott Jacobs – Superman or Spiderman
This is not my cup of tea, but if you’re into this kind of easygoing, folk-tinged balladry, perhaps you, too, are the kind of person who, when wanting to get to know more about someone you’re attracted to, puts the question of whether they prefer Superman or Spider-Man first, before even bothering with breakfast food preferences or other important coupling matters, just like this no-doubt perfectly nice British Columbian singer-songwriter. At least he understands that Superman and Spider-Man are not a likely pairing and do represent opposite choices. Buy it here or stream it on Spotify.


The Konfliktlotsen – Superman and Spiderman
The band is now known as SwedenClub (and lucky you, now that you know that you can check out their odd cover version of “The Final Countdown”), but as The Konfliktlotsen they released this catchy but ultimately mystifying pop-punk song. Do they really describe Spider-Man as “chicken breath”? I haven’t found any answer to that on the SwedenClub website nor even any information about their stint as The Konfliktlotsen, so I guess just bob your head to the song and don’t think about it too much. Buy it here or stream it on Spotify.


Songs to Wear Pants To – Superman vs Spiderman
Songs to Wear Pants To is actually Canadian musician Andrew Huang, who started posting his music online in 2004, taking song commissions online, and sometimes doing them for free if he liked the idea enough. His efforts expanded onto YouTube and he’s made a career as a quirky musician with more than 50 albums to his credit. This is from his 50-song 2010 album Skinny Jeans, and typical, I think, of his output. The song takes the form of a funny argument about which one is better — Huang pretty much sides with Superman and lays out his arguments why Superman would win in a battle. It all makes sense to me and stylistically it’s a good pairing with The Konfliktlotsen song. Buy it here or stream it on Spotify.


David Parienti – Spiderman and Catwoman
This French singer is obviously influenced by Serge Gainsbourg and I approve with this slow retro white-boy funk song that is reminiscent of Gainsbourg’s duets with wife Jane Birkin. This is either about Spider-Man and Catwoman having a thing or about two people who are having a thing roleplaying that they are Spider-Man and Catwoman. In translation, the lyrics do mention something about “eight legs” if that helps any. This is from his 2012 self-titled album, which has more good stuff on it and features a cover with Parienti being hugged by a woman in a Catwoman get-up. Buy it here or stream it on Spotify.



Azabache – Batman and Spiderman (Batman y El Hombre Arana)
This is from the only album by this San Franscisco salsa band, released in 2000, and it’s some pretty hot playing with jazz tones throughout and a killer rap/chant near the end and the lyrics are very definitely about Batman and Spider-Man, I just don’t understand exactly what they are saying about the two heroes. Buy it here or stream it on Spotify.


And in the spirit of “These things do not belong together,” please enjoy this Salsa dance performance by the Nashville Rueda Dancers with “Batman couples” and “Spider-Man couples.”