The authorities on Riverdale really think Ethel Muggs (Shannon Purser) killed her parents after last week’s bloody cliffhanger. Their being so certain that Ethel murdered them is the only thing keeping me from agreeing. Like, it clearly can’t be her because of how obvious it seems it’s her, right?

This is especially true considering the circumstantial evidence involved. Ethel claims the milkman killed her parents. No one buys this, save Jughead, Alice Cooper and a few others. Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is firmly in Ethel’s corner, even though he remembers the milkman murderer story is from a popular crime comic that he and Ethel both read. Ethel cribbed her whole alibii from this comic! But he believes her so much that he goes so far as to sneak into Ethel’s room to remove the comic and a drawing she did of herself putting her parents through a meat grinder. Or as Jughead puts it, a girl who looks like Ethel putting a couple who happens to look like her parents through the meat grinder. 

Of course this comic is going to inspire a moral panic in town. I mean, Riverdale has its own Dr. Fredric Wertham analogue in Dr. Freiderich Werthers (Malcolm Stewart) in this 1955 season. It can’t not inspire moral panic on the show against comics in the episodes to come. Season 7 of Riverdale can’t be “Dr. Wertham was right!”

Ethel had means and motive, no doubt about that. But she can’t really be the killer, can she?

The other major storyline on this week’s episode of Riverdale is a sexual awakening among the cast. Toni Topaz (Vanessa Morgan) invites Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch) to a poetry reading at the The Dark Room. This leads Cheryl to invite Archie (KJ Apa) as her date. This inspires Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) to make plans with Julian Blossom (Nicholas Barasch) to attend as well. Clay Walker (Karl Walcott) gets Kevin (Casey Cott) interested in going, so a date is planned there for Kevin and his frustrated girlfriend Betty Cooper (Lili Reinhart). 

Toni on S7E3 of Riverdale

After Clay delivers a searing indictment against injustice in America, Toni performs a spoken word and dance number that inspires everyone’s sexual desires. That night, everyone goes home dreaming of someone at else. Kevin dreams of Clay. Archie fantasizes about Cheryl. Cheryl fantasizes about Toni. And Betty dreams of Archie, shirtless, of course. 

Riverdale makeout party!

Also in this week’s Riverdale, Veronica hosts a makeout party. Definitely not an orgy, as one classmate questions. The biggest news to come out of that party is that Veronica and Jughead hit it off, to both of their surprises. Is Jugonica the new Riverdale it couple?


  1. So some people are still watching this show ?
    After the first season the shock value of beloved comedy characters turning into devious sociopaths wore off for me, I tapped out.
    While Sabrina remained appealing for a while, this bunch didn’t.
    Yet I understand that as many classics fall into the public domain the grim ‘n gritty treatment will swipe around, sadly…

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