I’ve refrained from commenting too much on the Mets recreating Brunnhilde’s Immolation scene just in time for the World Series, but then I ran across a report on how the day after, on Monday, they went to Citi Field for Locker Clean Out Day, and there were definitely some fashion Do’s and Don’ts. We’ll go from worst to best.
Cespedes! NO!!!!! The flashy Cuban-born slugger’s fastidious eyebrow manscaping — and love of color coordinated neon arm wraps—would make you think that he’d be a bit fashion conscious, but you would be wrong. I can live with hightops and shorts but not when the shorts are wrinkled and baggy. A bright red backpack
completes destroys this “I just batted .150 with a .293 OPS in the World Series and this morning I was so depressed I didn’t even bother to sniff my laundry” look. To be fair, his dismal post season stats lowered his free agent salary by $20 mil or so, so perhaps this ensemble is just his way of being thrifty. The one plus: you can see the swollen knee cap that Terry Collins insisted letting him bat with in the disastrous fifth game. Maybe that was the point.
Jonathan Niese proved that he can pitch in high tension relief situations, but that does not mean you get to wear an obnoxious t-shirt advertising your sperm count.
This reverse sunglasses and contrast detailed casual hoodie are definitely seasonal, but ripped jeans are totally passe for Juan Lagares, just like his throwing arm.
Michael Conforto is going for a coordinated look here, and nearly pulls it off, but the LuluLemon shopping bag is just out of place.
Now we’re getting somewhere. Slugger Lucas Duda has mastered the dudebro “Let’s go to the Joshua Tree tonight” look so beloved of Murray Hill and beyond, but on him it works.
Manager Terry Collins has the appropriate accessories for moving day: a bunch of cardboard boxes and crap he didn’t bother to put in the boxes! Luckily, he’s not going too far, since he was just signed for a new two year contract. I still love Terry, even if he should have brought in Familia.
RUNNER UP! Daniel Murphy?!?!? Known as something of a wild card on the bases, on the field and sometimes even at bat, who knew he actually has some fashion sense, as this crisp black and white athletic top shows. We can’t see the bottom half, but unless it’s crumpled plaid shorts, this is a win. Bonus points for the smart zippered agenda. Congrats on putting together a look, Murph.
THE WINNAH! Just as he was in game three, Noah Syndergaard provides the only win for the Mets on this fashion parade. The monochrome outfit—in a flattering shade—and long top create a long, clean line. Granted, when you are 6’6″ creating a long, clean line is not too hard. The toque was omnipresent for the Fall classic when he wasn’t on the mound, but it’s become a signature look for him. It’s seasonal, and goes from day (crying into your locker over what might have been) to night (crying into your beer) effortlessly. Congratulations, Noah. 2015 was your sports manga season, and volume 12 has come to a close.
Taiwan animated version of Mets Metldown.