200610261212

Best headline ever, right? Well, it turns out that it refers to a high school where girls dressed as CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS were banned by the mean old principal:

But in reality, principal Nicholas Restivo is simply an administrator who, on Superhero Day, had a problem with the way the three seniors were dressed. He issued them an ultimatum: Change clothes, cover up or leave school.

At the root of the clash was Captain Underpants, chubby superhero star of popular children’s books in which he battles talking toilets and foes such as Professor Poopypants.


The reality of the skin-tight suit is what upset this particular Superhero Day:

“I didn’t know which superhero it was, not that it mattered,” said Principal Nicholas Restivo.

The girls depicted this superhero _ who has battled, among other things, talking toilets and the infamous Professor Poopypants _ by wearing beige leotards and nude stockings under white briefs and red capes.

“Yes, I know they weren’t naked,” Restivo said. “But the appearance was that they were naked.”

“They’re not see-through or anything,” said one of the girls, Chelsea Horowitz, an honor student and softball player. “All the teachers thought it was cute.”

But Restivo made his decree: There would be no visible underpants in his hallways.

And thus, Horowitz and fellow seniors Ashley Imhof and Eliana Levin went home to change back into their mortal attire.


This story seems to cry out for the r-rated teen comedy film treatment. It could be called PANTSLOOSE, or some such.

1 COMMENT

  1. Principals powertripping over costumes are the WORST. My highschool principal banned costumes on Halloween one year, which meant he had to put up with me arguing with him in his office about how I’d wear a cape every damn day if I wanted to.

  2. Joanne says:
    “I don’t really understand how you can have a superhero day and then say “No visible underpants.â€?

    Brilliant! And so true.

    If the principal had a costume he’d be Capt. Job Security. Sacrificing common sense for the sake of political correctness everywhere.