Folks, we are halfway through the biggest wrestling weekend of the year, and a few moments removed from the end of WrestleMania 39’s first night.

Yesterday, we went over all the matches that were scheduled to be on night one, so if you’re coming to this article looking for information about the whole event, start there, and then come back here. We also kick things off with a bit of base level information about this year’s show and how matches work in general for the lapsed or uninitiated. 

Today, we’re digging into night two, and will end things by talking about  the surprises that happened during night one – so if you’re reaching this an want to avoid spoilers as you watch later, definitely stop when we wrap up with the main event.

Now let’s goooooooo!

NIGHT TWO

The identity of every WrestleMania is tied quite close to the show’s main event, with very little variance. One might argue that WrestleMania 13 is remembered best for the amazing Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin match that sent both wrestlers on wildly different trajectories, but it is more the exception than it is the rule. This WrestleMania is set up to have a barn burner, but as always, it will come down to execution. But before we get to all of that…

Brock Lesnar vs. Omas

TL;DR // Big ol’ beefy boys are gonna have themselves a meat fight.

How Did We Get Here? // A dartboard, maybe? Brock Lesnar is the kind of dude who have working WrestleMania if he’s under contract. He’s a wild boy. He once used farm equipment to wreck the ring during a championship match. He’s been a part of a few main events. Now, he’s running around as a beloved muscle cowboy of destruction and seems to be having some actual fun with his matches. And WWE is going with just the biggest boy they have on the roster for him to fight. There wasn’t much of a story behind this, it just… kind of appeared. Omas is also green as hell, and definitely not ready to go toe to toe with Brock unless something truly wild is planned. 

Intercontinental Championship
GUNTHER (c) vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

TL;DR // Big ol’ beefy boys are gonna have themselves a meat fight, except this time, it will be good.

How Did We Get Here? // In September, the WWE held one of their major events in the UK. They called it Clash at the Castle, and it was dope as hell, with two matches really outshining the rest. The one was the main event where “hometown boy” Drew McIntyre went toe to toe with Roman Reigns and the pair had the crowd on the edge of their seats. The other was an absolute banger between GUNTHER (yes, his name is spelled in all caps) and Sheamus, where the two lads just beat the absolute piss out of each other. No word of a lie, they were hitting each other quite hard for a good chunk of that match, as is both their styles.

Fast forward to today, and Sheamus and Drew have been palling around with Sheamus’ Oliver Twist style murder boys. They had folks in the company calling them The Banger Bros on television before someone did a quick google. The bros banged their way straight to a big match for the Intercontinental Championship with GUNTER, who is currently the longest running IC champion in the modern era. Sheamus wants it, because it is the last title he needs before he becomes a “Grand Slam Champion” (basically, holding all of the major active titles). Drew wants it because he likes a good fight. They are all going to slap the absolute hell out of each other.

So if you want to see three dudes with impeccable “above-the-knee steaks” popping blood vessels on each other’s chests with some thick meaty chops, this match is your huckleberry.

Fun Fact // GUNTHER used to be known as WALTER, but WWE likes to own their intellectual property, so they had the guy change his name. And in another case of WWE not doing a google, they accidentally(?) named him after a Nazi.

Hell in a Cell
Edge vs. Finn Balor

TL;DR // A man who may or may not be a vampire is going to fight a man who may or may not be possessed by a demon in a big ol’ murder cage.

Special Rules // This is a fight in a big ol’ cage. The idea is, the fight stays in the cage, but it rarely does. It is different from a “cage match”, because (a) the cage is larger than the ring, (b) the sumbitch has a roof and (c) you can’t win by leaving the cage.

How Did We Get Here? // So last summer, Edge was feeling his baby vampire self from when he first started and decided to build a spooky faction called The Judgement Day. He did such a good job, that the group kicked him out, stating that the old dude was holding them back. In reality, Edge had somewhat hand picked the group with the idea of putting a better focus on folks he felt deserved a better spotlight. He was supposed to have a longer run as the leader of the group, but Randy Orton went and got himself injured real bad, and the company decided they needed a big babyface back fast, so things were accelerated.

Flash forward to today – Edge has been fighting on and off with this group, trading wins, while making them look great in various matches. It is coming to a head here, where Edge has requested The Judgement Day ember Finn Balor to bring “The Demon” with him to the match – a full body paint entity that Balor employs on big occasions to add mystique to matches. This is going to be awesome, and also pays off nearly a year’s worth of storytelling. Which is nice.

WrestleMania Showcase Match: Fatal Four-Way Women’s Tag Match
Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez vs. Natalya and Shotzi vs. Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler vs. Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville

TL;DR // Just a wild mess of folks who have nothing to do at the show, and have been thrown together in teams for reasons.

Special Rules // In a Fatal Four Way, there are no disqualifications. In a tag match, there are two men in the ring who are legal at any given point in time. You have to tag, or be tagged to switch out, and only the legal men are able to pin, or be pinned.

How Did We Get Here? // So apparently, Ronda Rousey has enough pull to shrug off creative suggestions. From the rumours, she didn’t quite like the upcoming creative for her, so WWE had Charlotte Flair show up and take the Smackdown Women’s Championship in her first night after a long hiatus. She then pushed to compete as a tag team with her old friend (in real life) Shayna Baszler, which… you know what? Ronda is a garbage person. She’s a TERF. She’s a Sandy Hook truther. She is pretty bad at being a wrestler. But Shayna is not. She’s rad as hell, and the two, undeniably make a great team – if only because Shayna’s competence will end up hiding how much Ronda sucks. Anyway, it will be an absolute shock if they don’t win this match, but WWE likes to be wild sometimes, so we’ll see.

Raw Women’s Championship
Bianca Belair (c) vs Asuka

TL;DR // Just two of the best heading out to whip the shit out of each other.

How Did We Get Here? // Bianca has been the Raw Women’s Champion  since last year’s WrestleMania, and has been quite the fighting champion. For a while, Belair had to fight against Bailey and her Damage CTRL team, and Asuka helped her even the odds alongside Alexa Bliss. Since then, Bliss went over to the bad side, and has been followed by Asuka.

This pair isn’t afraid of hitting hard, and this one should be a barn burner.

Undisputed WWE Universal Championship
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Cody Rhodes

TL;DR // The prodigal son returns to put an end to the chosen one.

How Did We Get Here? // This is a bit of a long one too. From the champion’s side, Roman has been on top an unbeatable since the summer of 2020. He has also not been pinned since 2019. During that time, he won both of WWE’s top titles, unifying them at last year’s WrestleMania.

Meanwhile, Cody Rhodes was a man that WWE treated as a mid-carder at best. Cody decided that he didn’t want to toil away, always so far from being the main event, so he went out, and proved himself. He wrestled everywhere. Everywhere. Built a name. Made some friendships. And from those friendships, he helped put together an event called All Out – a massive event put together by multiple promotions after an important wrestling journalist stated there would be no way anyone other than the WWE could fill a large arena anymore.

From that event, came a company called All Elite Wrestling. AEW was put together with billionaire money and what Cody and his pals built. Currently, it is a viable competitor for the WWE. Now, you’d think that Cody would be happy having helped build such a thing. But he wasn’t. Early on, he booked himself to lose a match that meant he could never challenge for that company’s biggest title, in an effort to prove he wasn’t just putting the focus on himself. He later admitted to that being a mistake.

Then, came time for him to renegotiate his contract with AEW. When he started, he had a fair amount of control, but the billionaire backer had pulled back most of the decision making. Feeling a lack of control in his direction, Cody left the company on good terms, with a joint statement being released.

And then, he returned to the WWE at last year’s WrestleMania, arriving with the music he had used at AEW and in other promotions (unheard of). He was pushed as a main event guy, and set up as a dude who might be able to take down Roman Reigns. First, he had to finish up his program with Seth Rollins, which he did… just barely.

Rhodes tore his pec just a few days before the final match, in a big old murder cage. And he decided to wrestle with it, instead of let people down in the main event.

It was… gnarly.

Anyway, after that, Cody was gone for a while – coming back at the Royal Rumble. He won the match, which meant he got to pick a champion to fight at WresteMania, aaaaaaannnnd here we are. The main event. Let’s go.

Fun Fact // When Cody Rhodes was going around, fighting everywhere, he came to my local, and I nearly spilled poutine all over him when he was tossed into my chair.

And now, to wrap:

SURPRISES FROM NIGHT ONE

  • It looks like WWE surprised Michael Cole again with an appearance by Pat McAfee. The pair had been calling matches together on Smackdown for a while, when he got pulled away for other work in fall of last year. The WWE surprised Cole by having McAfee come down for commentary during the Royal Rumble – and it looks like they did it again when he came down to challenge The Miz to an impromptu fight at WrestleMania. (My partner Danica said Cole looked so happy, and that she doesn’t usually see genuine emotion on these shows.) McAfee brought his charm with him, getting Snoop Dogg to make the match official. Because wrestling, my friends.
  • Bad Bunny, arguably the biggest recording artist today, was around for the Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio match, and even effected the outcome. For those who don’t know, Bad Bunny is a huge WWE fan, and has participated in a few matches to great effect. He’s also in this year’s WWE 2K23 game.
  • I do not know who a KSI is, nor do I particularly care to find out, especially when the announce team announced him as “Logan Paul’s business associate and good friend”. He was dressed as whatever poison drink Paul sells, and interfered during his match.

Alright. That does it for this year’s posts. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy.