Previously on Game of Thrones…
Jaime stands before Dany. Oh right, Jaime killed Dany’s dad. Yikes. Dany really isn’t happy to see him. Jaime fills them in on Cersei’s latest moves. Tyrion makes an appeal for Dany to spare Jaime, which just gets Dany to suspect Tyrion.  While Jaime is explaining his motives, Bran throws Jaime his own line from the first episode of Game of Thrones at him, “The things we do for love.” That throws Jaime, as Jaime said it right as he was throwing Bran out a window, and Bran had no memory of it when he awoke. Jaime gets a nice glance from Brienne when he uses her line from late last season, “This isn’t about loyalty. It’s about survival.” This causes her to take up his defense to Sansa. She fills in Sansa on Jaime’s oath to Catleyn to keep the Stark girls safe. It’s enough to get Sansa on Team Don’t Kill Jaime. Dany turns to Jon looking for an override, but Jon says they need every man they can get. Dany relents and Greyworm gives Jaime his sword back.
Jamie Lannister on trial Game of Thrones Season 8 A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
On the way out, Jon can’t even look at Dany. Oh, the awkwardness.
Dany rips Tyrion a new one in the hall. She wants the Iron Throne, and Tyrion isn’t delivering. Tyrion lets Varys and Friend Zone know that he doesn’t see himself in the job of the Hand for long.

How to jump to the front of a line in three easy steps.

Arya pays Gendry a visit in his smithy. Everyone is working overtime to make dragonglass weapons. Arya wants her special weapon moved to the top of the queue. She wants to know what fighting the wights is like. He says it’s like fighting death. She says she knows death, then proceeds to nail three bullseyes with weapons that are laying about. That gets her to the top of the queue.
Jaime finds Bran under the weirwood tree. He apologizes for crippling him. Jaime is surprised that Bran isn’t angry at him. Bran points out that neither of them would be who they are today if that event hadn’t happened. Towards the end of their scene, Bran asks him, “How do you know there is an afterwards?” Suddenly I’m feeling good about picking almost everyone to die in my Game of Thrones final season pool.
Jamie Lannister Game of Thrones Season 8 A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion strolls through the armaments and finds his brother. Remember when both of these guys were blonde? Jaime confirms a big point of contention among fans right now, that Cersei’s pregnancy is indeed real.
Interesting. They lined the top of the walls with dragonglass spikes. Man, I can’t wait for this battle.

I ship Brienne and Jaime all day every day.

In the yard, Pod shows off his sword skills. Damn, he’s gotten beefy. He’s like the Neville Longbottom of Game of Thrones. Jaime joins them. Brienne and Jaime are easily my favorite couple on Game of Thrones. When he says “I’m not the fighter I used to be, but I’ll be honored to serve under your command if you’ll have me,” he might as well be saying “I’m just a knight standing in front of a lady asking her to love me.”
Friend Zone visits Dany in her chambers. He pleads for Dany to keep Tyrion on as Hand, which says a lot since Tyrion basically stole the job from Jorah.
Dany pays a visit to Sansa. Sansa looks like she borrowed this outfit from Hellraiser’s Pinhead. Dany says Tyrion should never have trusted Cersei. Sansa counters that neither should have Dany. Dany tells Sansa that she’s here because she loves Jon. Sansa asks but what about after the war for the dead? Dany answers that she’ll take the Iron Throne. Sansa wants the the North to be an independent State, free of the Iron Throne’s rule. Dany can’t or won’t promise that.
Theon returns. He fills Dany in on Yara’s plan to take back the Iron Islands in her name. He asks Sansa to be able to fight for Winterfell. Sansa jumps into his arms. It’s an interesting moment of raw emotion and vulnerability from Sansa.

Stay out of the crypts!

Davos feeds people in the courtyard. Every able bodied man is a fighter now. Gilly talks a little girl who wants to fight into joining her and her son in the crypt during the upcoming battle. Man, they keep saying the crypts are the safest place to be. Anyone else feeling that the crypts are going to be a deathtrap?

Love Triangle!

Tormund, Berrick, Ed and the other survivors of Last Hearth fill Jon in on what happened last week. They have until the sun comes up tomorrow before the dead arrive at Winterfell. Tormund asks after Brienne. Love triangle!.
Jon gives the halftime down by two touchdowns speech from every football movie you’ve ever seen to the other leaders. Jon’s Hail Mary play is take out the Night King. Bran says that the Night King will come for him. The Night King wants to plunge the world into darkness, and needs to erase Bran to erase the world’s memory. They once again call the crypts the safest place to be. Dany wants Tyrion in the crypt, to keep him safe for after the battle. I have a really bad feeling about this.
Arya asks if dragon fire will kill the Night King. Bran says he doesn’t know, no one ever tried.
Tyrion cozies up to Bran after the meeting and wants to hear his story. We don’t find out how much Bran tells him.
Greyworm wants to make plans with Missandei for after the war. He doesn’t want them to be in Dany’s service afterwards, and wants to run away with her after the War for the Iron Throne ends. There’s nothing like making far off plans that says “these two aren’t going to be alive much longer.”

Ghost returns!

Sam asks Jon if he told Dany yet. He hasn’t. Hey, Ghost is there! I was wondering where Ghost had been. When was the last time we saw Jon’s direworlf on Game of Thrones? Sam tells John that Gilly and the baby will “be safe down in the crypt.” Oh lord. Everyone! Get out of that crypt!
Tyrion and Jaime sit by a fire. They reminisce on how much their lives have changed since the first episode. Brienne and Podrick join them. She allows Pod half a cup of wine. Tyrion nearly overflows the cup for him. Davos and Tormund join too. Have I mentioned how much I love a good love triangle? Tormund gives his origin story to Jaime in one of the funniest moments of the entire series. I think giant’s milk has addled Tormund’s brian. He then drools whatever’s in that horn down his front as he chugs. Just how many concussions has this guy received?
Arya and the Hound meet atop the walls of Winterfell. When she first walked up, the way he was sitting and she was standing, it looked like when she left him for dead. She needs to know what changed about him, what brought him up here. Berrick joins them. Arya realizes this isn’t where she wants to spend her possible last night alive.

So many layers.

Gendry finds Arya practicing for battle. He made her her weapon. It looks like a medieval Darth Maul’s lightsaber. Gendry tells her he’s Robert’s bastard. Arya asks about his sexual history. He’s had three partners. Well, Gendry, guess who’s about to become number four? They undress. They’re wearing so many layers! This is going to be a half hour of undressing.
Arya Stark Gendry Games of Thrones Season 8 A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tormund and his audience sits around the fire. Tyrion predicts this group might live. That’s it, everyone here is dying. And I’m winning my pool! But the big thing in the scene is that Jaime knights Brienne. Your move, Tormund!
Jamie Lannister Knights Brienne of Tarth Game of Thrones Season 8 Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Sam gives his family’s sword, Heartsbane, to Friend Zone. Sam says he’ll see him when it’s through. Hmm, does this mean Sam will be fighting wight Jorah later?
Tyrion is really keeping his crew up late drinking. Strong strategy there, half-man. Tyrion wants to hear a song. It turns out Pod sings as well as he beds. As he sings, we see people in their last moments of happiness before the dead arrive.

Aunt Dany.

In the crypts, Dany finds Jon. He stands before his mother’s crypt. Dany asks, who’s that? Jon fills her her in that Rhaegar didn’t rape Lyanna, he loved her. And they had a kid. Hello, Aunt Dany. Oh man, you can see the exact moment when Dany realizes she slept with her nephew. When Jon explains that Bran and Sam figured it out,  she doubts them. She needs to doubt them. Dany points out that if this is all true, Jon will have a claim to the Iron Throne. Doesn’t she see he’s not interested in that? Jon’s trying to save the world from the dead, he doesn’t care about playing the game of thrones!
Tyrion looks out over the parapets as the dead arrive at Winterfell. Hey, doesn’t it look like there a lot more White Walkers than we thought there were? The whole first line looks like them!
I can’t wait for next Sunday’s Game of Thrones.


  1. What idiot wrote this!??? Jaime says, “The things we do for love” while looking at Cersei and THENNN pushes abran out the window…get a better recap writer TheBeat

  2. Nice recap, thanks. I have heard there was a bit of controversy about Arya, I find that puzzling. In this series we’ve seen all manor of things that horrified and shocked, her having sex has got to be on the low end of the scale.

  3. Great recap – I love the irreverence. I have a bad feeling that we’re going to lose Tyrion next week, given he’s the only one that thinks they might live — and Dany wants him in the crypt. Hiding out in a crypt while fighting an army made up of the dead? Who else thinks we’re going to see the rise of a bunch of Stark zombies episode 3?

  4. Good recap but I’m a little confused as to why the writer didn’t mention the scene where they use dragon semen to make the anti-white walker potion.

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