Wendy’s is ready to strike back against other fast food restaurants that have been hogging attention on Twitter with their stupid superior spicy chicken sandwiches and Colonel Daddy dating simulators!

What’s Wendy’s weapon of choice? Feast of Legends, a 97-page downloadable PDF with rules for a tabletop RPG based on menu items. The art and design of the game book pays homage to the classic D&D guides (which you can borrow free of cost from your local public library), but with the beholders replaced with “Beef Bandits” and the mimics replaced with “Frozen Mimic Meals” (I am not making any of this up).

Wendy's Tabletop RPG
The imaginatively named French Fry Forest.

Perhaps suspecting that an extensive game that includes character classes based on fast food sides (“Order of the Baconator Fries,” really) would require a little extra somethin’ to pass an initiative check, Wendy’s has gathered an adventuring party that includes Critical Role.

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This isn’t the first partnership for Critical Role. Earlier this year, a team-up with Dark Horse Comics was announced. However, that deal represents an expansion of the world and characters that have been explored in the live stream D&D-playing web series since its debut in 2015. In this case, the one-shot Wendy’s sponsored special will be set in the Wendy’s-created realm of… “Beef’s Keep.” Really? Really.

Wendy's Tabletop RPG
…”Bottom Bun Mountains”?

Is this all just a chicken nugget induced fever dream? Did someone in the Wendy’s marketing department really approve the name “Bottom Bun Mountains”? Is Wendy’s food being prepared by unwilling house elves, or is there somehow something even more insidious afoot?

I don’t have answers for any of these questions, but what is certain is that if you’re looking for a Wendy’s-themed tabletop RPG that unironically includes a capital city built around a statue of “Emperor Dave” that is believed to have an “otherworldy blessing,” well, your moment has arrived.

Critters who want to see the sponsored play-through of Feast of Legends can watch it on the Critical Role Twitch channel at 7 p.m. PT on Thursday, Oct. 3.

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