Riverdale is certainly doubling down on the death of Hiram (Mark Consuelos). Is he dead? Maybe. But until I see a body, I’m not fully believing it. Faking his own death and playing with his daughter’s emotions about it wouldn’t be the craziest thing Hiram has ever done on Riverdale. Especially considering that his daughter Veronica (Camila Mendes) is the person that hired the hit on him.
Veronica didn’t initially want to eulogize Hiram at his funeral, but did out of reverence for his grandmother. Out of the entire gang, only Reggie (Charles Melton) shows up for Hiram’s funeral. That’s understandable considering that Hiram recently planted a bomb in Archie (KJ Apa) and Betty’s (Lili Reinhart) bedroom at the end of Riverdale season 5, and that wasn’t even the first time he tried to kill Archie.
Speaking of Archie, Riverdale’s newest super powered red head discovers that along with super toughness, he even has his own Kryptonite! Archie discovers this after finding out not all super powers are what they’re cracked up to be. His super density made him too heavy for the second story floor in his house, and he came crashing through it to the floor. When he landed, he was surprised to find out he was bleeding. In Archie’s pocket was a chunk of palladium that Dennis, one of the workers Archie hired to help fix up his house, found and gave to Archie.
Archie tells Betty about the palladium robbing of his super power when he’s around it, and gives it to her to hold onto, but neither thinks about checking to see if it also interferes with Betty’s danger sense.
Early in the episode, Betty is alerted by another agent that Glen’s car was found in Pop’s parking lot, but no one has heard from Glen in days. Betty soon finds out the cause of Glen’s disappearance when the Trash Bag Killer mails her pieces of Glen. At first I think it might be this female agent who alerted her about Glen’s car who turns out to be the Trash Bag Killer, since she also brought Betty the package with Glen’s foot in it, but by the end of episode, that suspicion of mine is proven wrong.
Nana Rose loses Abigail (Madelaine Petsch) as an ally and finds herself locked up when she calls Toni Topaz (Vanessa Morgan) Serpent trash. Come on, Nana Rose. Abigail was smitten by Toni the moment she saw her. You had to realize she wouldn’t take calling her that well. Abigail is convinced that Toni is Thomasina Topaz reincarnated. She’s shocked to find out that Thomasina’s descendant is coupled up with Fangs Fogarty (Drew Ray Tanner), the descendant of Thomasina’s killer. Abigail locks Nana Rose in a room with only hay to rest on. Where is this room full of hay in their house? It doesn’t look like a stable. It looks like Abigail was like, “I’m back. First order of business: fill a spare room with hay. Trust me.”
Jughead (Cole Sprouse) makes some hard progress with his hearing loss. Tabitha (Erinn Westbrook) hooks him up with a therapist who also lost his hearing as an adult, so he knows what Jughead is going through. The therapist has him try different exercises, each more frustrating that the last for Jughead, but when Jughead reads the therapist’s graphic novel, he gets inspired to make his own and excitedly shows off his first few pages to Tabitha, who greets them with love and enthusiasm. Tabitha might be the most well adjusted of the young adults in Riverdale, maybe because she didn’t grow up there.
Besides being a burgeoning cartoonist, Jughead can now read minds! Take that, Bingo! You thought you got powers and Jughead didn’t. What was in that bomb, anyway?
The Trash Bag Killer leads Betty on a wild goose chase to skid row, where he pays off a homeless guy to wear his mask and give Betty a message that leads to Betty finding more and more pieces of Glen nearby. She reveals to Archie later that one of those pieces was Glen’s head, so RIP Glen.
Archie has his own run in with the Trash Bag Killer, in his own home. Dennis finds an even bigger piece of palladium in Archie’s house, and right after showing it to Archie, knocks him upside the head and ties him up. He’d have killed this now no longer invulnerable Archie, if not for Alice Cooper’s accidental intervention. Alice stops by the house with Bingo. She can’t keep him at her place any more, he’s tearing up her home. Archie, trying to save Alice from TBK, rudely tells her to leave. She does, but leaves Bingo behind. Or Super Bingo, I should say. The dog rushes upstairs and hits the Trash Bag Killer so hard that he goes flying through a wall and down to the yard below. TBK escapes, but Archie lives.
Betty isn’t excited to know Trash Bag Killer’s identity. Besides, Dennis probably isn’t even his real name, that’s just the name he gave when he answered Archie’s ad looking for workers. Betty’s plan is to leave town, hopefully drawing the Trash Bag Killer away from the people she loves. She says she’ll double back to Riverdale once she’s sure he’s distracted with other interests. This plan makes it sound like Betty is kind of cool with the Trash Bag Killer continuing his killing, as long as it’s in someone else’s backyard. Real cool, Betty.
Veronica eulogizes her father in a way that is very reminiscent of Jen’s eulogy of Abby on Dawson’s Creek. Okay, it wasn’t as awkward as Jen’s, but it definitely didn’t gloss over Veronica and Hiram’s rocky relationship, or his life of crime either. I’m still not convinced Hiram is actually dead. After Prison Break brought back Dr. Sarah after her beheading (we saw her head in a box!!), I don’t even trust when they show us a body.
Cheryl isn’t as banished as Nana Rose declared. Abigail sees her in the mirror, screaming to be set free. Abigail smashes the mirror instead.