In the aftermath of Archie (KJ Apa) and Betty (Lili Reinhart) getting caught stripping for each other, Betty is definitely feeling harsher repercussions than Archie. Alice is frantic, but Archie just gets a boys will be boys slap on the wrist from Uncle Frank. 

Veronica’s (Camila Mendes) allowance is cancelled and she’s told to report to the Babylonium that afternoon for work. The Babylonium is no longer a club, but an old timey movie theater. If Riverdale really were set in Rockland County, NY, the Babylonium would be Suffern’s Lafayette Theater

Meanwhile, Sheriff Keller confronts Kevin (Casey Cott) in his room. He suspects Kevin in gay and questions his son about his collection of bodybuilding magazines. Kevin swears they’re just fitspo

Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is called to the principal’s office over Homeroom of Horrors. Maybe getting credit isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Principal Featherhead threatens Jughead with expulsion, but Jughead isn’t having it. They hand him a contract. If he doesn’t agree to no longer writer horror or crime comics, he’s expelled. 

Featherhead hands Jughead a contract to attend Riverdale High

The double standard between Betty and Archie continues throughout the school day. Betty gets icy silence from her classmates, while Archie practically gets a standing ovation. 

Sheriff Keller makes a handshake deal with Uncle Frank to get Kevin on the basketball team. Kevin looks lets than enthused. Julian calls him a creampuff. Kevin is clearly the tallest guy in the gym though. Hello new Bulldog center. 

1955 Veronica absolutely loves movie theaters and falls in love with the Babylonium immediately. 

Betty makes her debut on Riverdale Grandstand at the behest of her parents. Betty’s not dancing. Cheryl tires to get her moving by pairing her up with Dilton. 

Riverdale Grandstand

Mr. Raybury shows up at Pep and is surprised to find Jughead there at 12:30 on a school day. Jughead dropped out instead of signing the contract. Raybury takes him to lunch. Jughead apologizes again for reading The Jupiter Journals. Raybury tries to talk Jughead back into goin back to school. He wants to know everything about Werthers.

Julian really lays it on thick in the locker room, announcing that none of them can be considered real men until they’ve gone all the way with woman, and throws around slurs like fruitcake. When Archie questions whether or not Julian is a virgin, Julian says his dad took him to see Twyla Twyst on his 16th birthday. “Spend one night with her, heck even one hour, and you’ll never be the same,” says Julian. That’s the STD talking, Julian. 

Veronica bonds with Clay while cleaning the theater. They both have dreams of getting into filmmaking. Veronica asks him where the customers are. The manager chimes in to explains that between TV and the drive in, their business is down. Veronica pitches a TV commercial to the manager, starring herself, naturally. 

A new boy, Troy, wants to dance with Betty. They’re having a good time until he starts asking if she likes it when guys watch her undress. He sounds like a serial killer. She slaps him while the camera is on her. Veronica sees it air and is proud of her friend, more proud than Alice, who yells at Betty, “You can’t do that on live television!

Alice scolds Betty after the show. Betty suggests letting her not be on Riverdale Grandstand. Instead, Arlice says Betty will be there every episode, and she’s going to tell all the boys on the show to not dance with her. 

Raybury suggests Jughead write his crime and horror comics under an alias while writing non-verboten comics under his real name. Raybury meets with Principal Featherhead and Mr. Werthers, calling himself Jughead’s mentor. Rayburty threatens a suit if they keep harassing Jughead.

Kevin confides in Archie that he’s freaking out about his upcoming meet and greet with Twyla Twyst. Archie admits to being a virgin too. This only enrages Kevin, who sees this as an unfair situation. Kevin heads to his meeting with Twyla at a seedy motel. 

Betty picks up an order at Pops and sees Archie. He asks about why she and Kevin broke up, but then can’t keep his mouth shut and tells Betty about Kevin and Twyla. Cut to Archie bursting in on Kevin and Twyla, yelling “Don’t do it!” He didn’t need to worry though. Kevin is in tears, Twyla mocks him. Twyla wants Archie. When Archie says “I’m here for my friend,” Twyla says “Oh, you’re his friend,” with loud air quotes around friend. Later, Kevin  worries what the guys will say, but Archie says they’ll just say that he did have sex with Twyla. 

Veronica's commercial to save the Babylonium

Veronica shows off her commercial to her boss. He loves it but also admits he’s selling the theater. To who? To none other than her parents, who are going to turn it into a parking lot. Veronica has a plan to undermine her folks though. 

Veronica considers selling her prized Edward Hopper original

Kevin comes home to find his dad drunk and belligerent. Mr. Keller admits he’s the one who suggests the Twyla Twyst to Julian in the first place. He also spoke to Twila, so he knows Kevin didn’t have sex with her and cried. He finishes his drink and walks out. 1955 Sheriff Keller is a dick. 

Mr. Keller calls Frank the next day at home, saying Kevin won’t be on the team anymore. Frank calls Kevin bent, which sends Archie away. Archie is worried he made things worse for Kevin. 

Veronica offers to buy the Babylonium. She wants to trade the Edward Hopper, for the theater. She says the painting is worth more than anything her parents offered. 

Archie and Betty are fed up with grownups dictating their lives to them. Betty has an idea. The setting: Riverdale Grandstand’s 50th episode. Betty gets up from her seat to dance during The Twirl. She twirls so fast and shows off her red panties under her dress. The whole studio is in dismay. Alice jumps between Betty and the camera and cuts to commercial. Lol. After filming ends, Alice calls Betty out of control. But this was all Betty’s plan to get kicked off Riverdale Grandstand. And it works!

Betty Cooper flashes her red panties on Riverdale Grandstand

Veronica instructs Smithers to send her parents a telegram informing them that she is the new owner of the Babylonium.

Archie joins Kevin and Clay for lunch. He meets them at their interests instead of dragging them to basketball. 

Betty shows up to Riverdale High the next morning. She has everyone’s attention. Look but don’t touch, boys. Uh oh. But her good times fade when she sees Werthers at the end of the hall. He wants to see her privately. 

A milkman shows up to Raybury’s door late at night. Uh-oh.


  1. I miss those wild 1950’s, as if they were yesterdat!! Is your headlining screenshot borrowed from that popular fabled game show, “Guess Whose Buttocks?”



Comments are closed.