It’s been a few episodes since we’ve had a musical Riverdale episode, but that ends tonight thanks to Riverdale’s tribute to American Psycho: The Musical. The episode sports a few American Psycho songs, with Kevin Keller (CaseyCott) getting the majority of the numbers thanks to him portraying Patrick Bateman in his revue of it at the casino’s nightclub.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Why is Kevin in a revue of American Psycho at the casino? Well, Veronica (CamilaMendes) is hosting Slaughtercon, her serial killer fan convention. It’s all a trap to draw out TBK. It’s weird that Charles is on the planning committee for Slaughtercon, Charles being a serial killer himself. Veronica sees this. No one else does. During planning, Veronica calls Betty (LiliReinhart) the Clarice to TBK’s Hannibal Lecter, which seems too on the nose and gives away the game of where Riverdale’s writing team is cribbing this entire TBK story from. Speaking of Betty, did you know that Betty is the character that has been in the most episodes of Riverdale? Even more than Archie (KJApa)? And Jughead (ColeSprouse), the show’s narrator? It’s true! Lili Reinhart has been in 113 episodes of Riverdale (they must also be counting next week’s since we’re only up to 112). That’s every episode! Camila Mendes and Cole Sprouse clock in at 112 apiece, meaning they each missed one, and KJ Apa brings up the rear of the Riverdale core four with 110 (I guess he was dead for a few episodes of the Rivervale era).
Enough credits counting. Back to the show! Percival Pickins (ChrisO’Shea) needs his railroad completed by the time Bailey’s Comet passes overhead. Why? Reasons. Likely satanic reasons. He needs the strike broken. Unfortunately for his plans, Tabitha (ErinnWestbrook), his real #1 enemy, offers the striking workers free meals at Pop’s to help keep up their resolve.
Toni Topaz (VanessaMorgan) stops by Thornhill to break the news to Cheryl (MadelainePetsch) that Fangs Fogarty (DrewRayTanner) and she are getting married. Cheryl plays it cool and introduces Toni to Heather. Toni’s heard all about Heather before. You’re yesterday’s news, Toni! Go to bed!
Of course, Slaughtercon has cosplayers. Is one of them dressed as Professor Pyg? Kevin does his first song from AmericanPsycho: TheMusical. Look, I know both are Duncan Sheik, but AmericanPsycho is no SpringAwakening. To be fair though, I am comparing the original cast of Spring Awakening to the Riverdale version of American Psycho. Betty apprehends a guy with a knife, and it’s not just any knife. It belonged to her dad, Hal Cooper aka The Black Hood. This herb was bought on eSlay. He wants Betty to sign it and then kill him with it so that he can be her first victim. He definitely thinks Betty will be a serial killer one day. Maybe next season as I keep saying? Maybe he reads these recaps? You know what’s weird? All these creepy dudes at this convention and none of them trigger Betty’s Spidey sense.
Percival shows up at Pop’s and uses his mind powers to send his whole crew back to work. It works like a charm though his nose bleeds like Eleven on StrangerThings.
Even Cheryl told Heather she didn’t care about Toni or her wedding, she shows up at Kevin’s place looking for help in cursing Toni and Fangs. Cool, cool. Totally normal thing to do. She casts a wedge spell, hoping to drive, as its name implies, a wedge between Fangs and Toni.
Archie, Tabitha, and the work crews’ families show up at the train line work site. Tabitha, Toni, and Archie sing, which breaks the spell Percival had over his crew. All the workers walk off. Uncle Frank is still in Percival’s sway though and fires everyone as they leave, which seems counterproductive to getting that railroad built on time, Frank.
Agent Drake admits to being attracted to Betty, but Betty gently shoots her down. Drake doesn’t accept no easily though and keeps pressing it, saying she’s picked up vibes from Betty. It works because Betty wakes up in Drake’s bed. Oh wait, no, that was only a dream. Betty tells Veronica about it, who advises her to not go there with Drake but to also talk to Archie. Veronica confronts Drake on her own and tells her to back off from Betty. Veronica is satisfied with herself which makes me think this will end badly.
Cheryl drops off a basket of freshly baked cherry muffins at Fangs and Toni’s house. Never accept baked goods from Cheryl! We already learned that! Toni and Fangs tell Cheryl that Baby Anthony has been sick since yesterday. Good job, Cheryl. Cheryl calls in help from Heather, who cures Baby Anthony with some witchcraft, and then chides Cheryl for casting spells while agitated.
The main event of Slaughercon is Betty on stage with Alice, talking about she managed to escape TBK. Slaughtercon loves Betty. She fields Q&A after, answering why serial killers wear masks, and then they get a call from TBK himself. No screener Alice? Though I guess this is all part of their trap for him. TBK asks why Betty wears a mask. Instead of hanging up, Alice plays it up. Betty invites him to join her on stage, but he sees through this trap.
With Baby Anthony feeling better, Toni’s bachelorette party is back on. It’s everyone you’d expect…and also Agent Drake? How did she score an invite to this?
TBK shows up to strangle Kevin on stage with a trash bag, but when Betty tackles him, it’s revealed to be part of the act. The guy in the TBK-like mask is Dr. Curdle. I feel like Kevin could have run this one by Betty. “Oh, you know how you’re trying to lure TBK here? Well, and I’m sure this won’t confuse things, I’m going to have a TBK lookalike on stage with me trying to fake kill me with TBK’s signature weapon of choice.”
After the party, Cheryl and Heather kiss, and Heather spends the night.
On the last day of the convention, Betty takes the stage in a musical number of her own from American Psycho to lure out TBK. We don’t see Betty’s song until after she sings it. We find out that TBK didn’t show.
Veronica points out that she’s killed more people than Betty has, in the best piece of advice on Riverdale. Another fan has Black Hood’s gun. He also wants a signature. What is with these guys? After Drake takes him away, Betty picks up her father’s former firearm and studies it.
Betty returns home to Arche’s house and spies TBK in her childhood bedroom through the window. She heads over, finding dead FBI agents on the floor. She prowls around the house looking for TBK and finds Alice and Charles tied up with bags on their heads. They’re alive. TBK left a message. He would wait for her in the garage. TBK set up a whole romantic dinner there, complete with flowers and a trashbag mask for Betty. My theory is TBK is Hal Cooper, but now I’m not so sure. TBK gives her two options: kill him with her father’s gun or dismember her mother and brother together. Betty takes her eyes off TBK to look at the mask but then shoots her gun twice. Did she shoot TBK? Betty frees her mother and brother, telling them TBK is dead. And sure enough, TBK is bleeding on the floor of the garage.
Percival wants to break the union and threatens retribution of biblical proportions.
Betty wants to break up with Archie because she’s afraid that she is her father’s daughter and that Archie is going to fall victim to the darkness inside Betty one day. But Archie reminds her that she’s good by reminding her of a story about the two of them saving a baby bird when they were kids. That’s enough to bring Betty back to the light (for now) and keep them together as a couple. And then Riverdale just ends. It felt weird, just too abrupt.