I usually don’t do “and then I left for the airport” trip reports because, let’s face it, everyone has travel travails. Maybe I am just an old fart, but my trip thus far has been marked by breakdowns of service and civility that are annoying and, taken as a whole, alarming. Consider this an ode, then.

* To the woman at American Airlines check in who saw that my suitcase was broken and couldn’t be checked and when asked “Is there anywhere I can get a tool to fix it?” just looked like I’d asked her to clean my shoes with her tongue: Go to heck! (I saw a guy with a lanyard and he did attempt to help me, and knew what the problem was, but couldn’t fix it and advised me to go see a TSA person. In the end I fixed it all by myself, broken fingernails and all.) 

* To the brilliant planner at American Airlines who decided that all lunches and snacks would come at a charge ($2 for those pretzels you used to get free) and then sold them all while I was asleep and then had absolutely nothing to eat on the plane: Go to heck! To the stewardess who just looked at me blankly when I asked if there was any food left like I had asked for a diamond ring: go to heck! (The nice lady sitting next to me did heed my pain and give me a Quaker Oats bar from her purse. Neighbor helping neighbor, it’s all we’ve got.)

* To the revoltingly annoying girl or 20 or so behind me who tried to hold her bulldog on her lap for the whole flight and when told she had to put it away begged and whined like a 3 year old, and then yelled at her mom like she was a slave, and kept kicking my chair: you are the bleak future of America.

*To the guy in front of me who had bad gas the whole trip: please use the restroom.

* To the woman at the rental car agency who, without telling me, gave me a giant LeSabre or something at Premium rental price, when I had reserved a compact: You are a bad person. (When confronted with the Boat of Car, appalled, I asked the old Latino dude cleaning the parking lot if this was a compact and he laughed. “Once everyone wants SUV…no more!” I had to wait half an hour for a compact to come in, because apparently with gas at $4+ a gallon no one wants a gas guzzler any more.)

 * To the people at the Bonaventure who decided that my room would be the one with no room service menu or shower cap…GIVE ME A BREAK! I called two people to get me a room service menu, and they said there are none. Luckily the guy who brought up my eventual meal went and got one for me.

Maybe I am a demanding crank, but I don’t think any of my requests today were outrageous or should have been met by blank stares, hostility or deceit, I ran into an acquaintance, also here for the BEA in the lobby and he was chewing out a hotel employee because the wifi in the lobby didn’t work. Suddenly I felt one of those “Death Wish” yeah yeah, you go! moments. Someone was fighting back and I was proud!

On the plus side, I did see Keanu Reeves on the plane.


  1. We all know how lovely and talented you are Heidi (really, you are) but maybe you were asking the wrong way. Next time, take out a dollar bill and dangle it in front of whoever you are about to ask a question/favor. Then as if you are dealing with a dog begging for a treat, ask the question with lots of high pitch tonal fluctuations in your voice. And when they are done, pat them on the head and say good boy/girl. And oh yeah, keep the dollar. (cant wait to read the blog entry for that trip)

  2. I sympathize… sounds like a terrible trip.

    But, “Go to heck?” Come on, they deserve worse than that!

    If you’re too nice to actually say “hell,” how about “You suck!” Or, “You really pissed me off?” Or, “I’m utterly appalled by your complete and total lack of competence.”

    Any of those is much better than “Go to heck.”

  3. Murray, thanks for letting us know which kind of gay people you don’t like. I think it really added a lot to the thread.

    Maybe next someone could share what kind of African-Americans annoy them the most. Of course, since none of us are racist, none of us are annoyed by *all* African-Americans. Only certain ones.

  4. American Airlines worker is Racist on Flight 267 August 12, 2008
    267 Los Angeles, CA (LAX) 08/12/2008 08:20 pm Honolulu, HI (HNL)

    I was on this flight, it was pretty packed, and had six kids with me going to Honolulu for our holiday.
    A passenger sitting in front of me was not feeling well and complained that I was moving the seat and/or tray too much which may her feel “sick.”
    There was nothing I could’ve done about this, as I was not using my tray anymore then anyone else. I was also playing card games with me kids and occasionally they had to go out to use the restroom. It is tight, but it is economy class after all.
    Half way into our flight, the passenger in front of me (a white female) went and asked for a seat change and/or complained about me.
    Heidi, a flight attendant working in business class came over, and instead of talking with me in a civil manner, already assumed I was guilty of my accusations charged against me.
    I tried to tell her that I did nothing wrong and that’s there was nothing I could do. This lady in front of me is super sensitive. Maybe she has motion sickness, but there’s nothing I could do.
    Heidi, then shock my seat and show me what it must feel like for the lady in front of me and I got really upset, as I NEVER did anything like that.
    The discussion went around in circle where I tried to say: 1. the tray was not working well… as it would get stuck when I tried to close it. 2. this is economy class seats. 3. I have rights to as well to enjoy my flight with my family. 4. I did not like being accsue of something I did not do… which is to purposefully disrupt the lady in front of me.
    In the end, Heidi, the American Airline employee yelled and me and moved the lady to the front in business class.
    As I disembarked the plane, I went over to tell her how I thought she was out of line accusing me of doing things to the lady that I did not do.
    She said, well, “that lady was really upset.”
    I replied, “well, now I’m really upset.”
    She never apologized, and did not want to listen to my side of the story.
    This has been the worst flying experience I have ever had as I fly all the time.
    I said, “I’m going to write a strong letter to American Airlines. I think you think your job is secure, so your customer service goes down.”
    Heidi’s reply, “yes it is. and I do a good job.”
    My reply to her, “not today, not with me.”

    I wonder if Heidi knows that maybe that white-lady played her and got an upgrade.

    My friend said, “its interesting how a white blond lady, just sided with another white blond lady right away” which makes me think that Heidi may have a racial biases. If she does, American Airlines should not have her flying the most multicultural flight in America: the one to Hawai’i, America’s most diverse State.

    If you are a lawyer, and have some information and/or advice for me on how to follow up on this, I would appreciate it. In this day and age, this kind of treatment is uncalled me.

    If you have expereinced something similar by Heidi on American Airlines flight 267 or other flights to Hawai’i please write and comment as well.

    Key words: American Airline, American Airlines, Heidi, flight 267, LAX to Honolulu, Heidi is a racist.

  5. Blah, blah, blah. Sounds like both passengers were behaving like children then expecting a flight crew member to play “baby sitter”. Two adults should be able to maturely come to a mutually satisfying resolution without any intervention by a busy crew person working in a different part of the aircraft.

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