Whoa whoa whoa. Superman may have lost his red panties, but as shown by Henry Cavill on the streets of Chicago, he’s gained…a giant package.





Unlike poor Brandon Routh who has to worry in every shot about showing too much bulge-factor, this Superman is not afraid of unleashing little Kal-El on the world. Director Zack Snyder was not afraid to show lots of man meat in 300 and WATCHMEN, and he’s continuing this refreshing trend in the new Superman movie. No wonder Lois Lane is intrigued by the Man of Steel.

Shades of Citizen Steele!


Maybe this new DC is going to be awesome after all.


  1. And I thought they broke up the supermarriage because of Lois’ vaginismus. Turns out, it was all about clarks ginormous cock.

  2. Well, if having more man meat was an evolutionary advantage, the average amount of it would have increased over the decades, wouldn’t it? I’m guessing that it hasn’t — meaning that most women focus their attention on other things.


  3. So they remove the red shorts so people don’t stare at his package, then they add designs that point to it? Didn’t the chest symbol function as an arrow enough?

  4. Do they have any idea how much that looks like he had to fly to the emergncy so fast that he didn’t have time to put on his pants??? I swear to Gee-zus, Hollywood costume designers have to be the most clueless creative people in the world.

  5. Penis aside, I don’t like the costume. It looks like the kind of get-up that we’ll all laugh about a few years after the fact.

  6. Around the time the first Christopher Reeve Superman film came out, I remember reading an interview with someone involved with the movie–perhaps the costume designer–saying that they got Reeve a swimmer’s athletic protective cup because that was the biggest they found.

    There’s been a lot of comments made about the lack of cape. I wonder if they’ll be adding it digitally for some shots, esp. given how long it is.

  7. @Randy- The cape is there in allot of leaked photos- It’s most likely due to practical concerns; between shooting scenes, the cape(s) have to be kept pristine- no dirt, snags, tears, etc. Plus it may be heavy along with the suit- so the costume crew likley takes the capes off to be pressed or swapped out while new shots are rehearsed, food breaks, etc.

  8. Oh Heidi, you calling this package “giant” reveals more about you than Superman’s skin tight swim trunks ever could. ;-)

  9. @Synsider: Evolution takes millenia, not decades. And, according to two recent books (SEX AT DAWN and A BILLION WICKED THOUGHTS), size does matter, to both men and women.

    You have my sympathies.

  10. @ Martha Thomases

    I was being casual with the “decades” comment. There has been a lot of scientific research on all aspects of the human penis. The human equipment is much larger than primates’. I favor the informed opinion that size is an advantage only when there is widespread promiscuity.


  11. @Synsidar: Not to sidetrack this discussion completely, but I agree that size favors the promiscuous, and that humans are larger than our closest primate relatives. Which is why those books are both so good.

  12. If the suit were white and yellow, it would be Apollo from The Authority. And if it were red it would be The Samaritan from Astro City. Hell, if you cut out the chest, it could almost pass for Power Girl.

    I guess I’m saying it looks like most every super hero out there, except Superman.

    And a question for someone that might know, are those the actors muscles or is there some “costume enhancement” (and I said muscles not phallus)

  13. Actually I didn’t notice the size of his package at second or third glance, I was too busy noticing the shitty costume he was wearing…