There a newish blog on the block entitled Dick Hates Your Blog that’s trying to be the new Blogosphere Rampage. It’s got a lot nostalgic touches that bring back the golden age of the Blogosphere: an all-type Blogger template, a finicky sidebar, comments. But it also has an anonymous owner, so in theory the snark should be delivered in John Deere-sized payloads, right? So how’s Dick doing?

Well, his heart is in the right — or wrong, deciding on your viewpoint — place. But he’s still too soft!

-Oh good, Jog is back. I’m not saying I was going through withdrawal or anything, but his benevolent presence in an otherwise ruthless blogscape comforts me.


or

This is kind of a Brian Cronin question, and I don’t mean that as a diss.


Come on now! What’s with this lovey dubbins shit? Where’s the savagery? Where are the similes? Where’s the nihilistic glee? Dick Hyacinth spends time fretting about the health of aging cartoonists, and calling Jeff Smith a great cartoonist. Oooo, shocking! You bad boy, you! We know that in this day and age you have to be nice to everyone because anyone may soon be hiring you or working with you or linking to you on their sidebar, but does that mean EVERYONE has to act like the Care Bears?

Where Dick does seem to be taking advantage of his anonymity is his “Hate Polls” which pit one comics pro against another. Mark Millar was the much-hated tosser for several weeks, but now Dick has found a real clash of the obligatory-one-man-panels:

The case against Joe Quesada: Presumably had some part in the decision to release three miniseries in conjunction with World War Hulk; enabler of chronically late writers and artists; seems like the type of guy who talks with his mouth full.

The case against Dan Didio: Presumably had some part in the (fictional) deaths of several whimsical intellectual properties; an even more egregious enabler of late writers and artists; almost certainly gets soup in his mustache.


Now we’re getting somewhere! It may be that humble bloggers who just do it in their spare time are not really worthy of Howitzer level satire, but if you can’t make fun of Quesada and Didio who CAN you make fun of? They’re big boys — they can take it. (BTW, Quesada is pretty soundly ahead.)

We don’t want Dick to quit, though. We need a few more jaundiced eyes around here. I mean can you imagine what we’d write if we were anonymous? Hoowhee, kitty bar the door. Our advice for Mr. Hyacinth? Read Defamer daily and get out of the house a little bit more. If nothing else, this post has finally prodded us to create a “Blogosphere” tag and that can only be a boon to mankind.

1 COMMENT

  1. I can’t get out of the house too often for professional reasons, plus it’s cold here. Isn’t Defamer the place which circulates photos of celebrities who have neglected to wear underwear? If anyone wants to share pictures of Tom Spurgeon or Eddie Campbell in this state of dress, I’ll gladly run it.

  2. But… if the old school blogger template look is suddenly “nostalgic”, what about people who just never bothered to update? Am I nostalgic or lazy?

    I prefer to think, “classic”.

  3. Come on now! What’s with this lovey dubbins shit? Where’s the savagery? Where are the similes? Where’s the nihilistic glee?

    My thoughts exactly. As someone who has become an official enemy of Dick, I petition for more hate and less back-tracking-in-the-comments-when-someone-I-call-out-calls-me-out, thank you very much.

  4. Yeah, the case concerning Dan Didio and the death of intellectual properties; that wouldn’t have anything to do with the debacle he made with the T.H.U.N.D.E.R Agents, would it?

    ~

    Coat

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