Best of April Fools

From around the net, a Pandora’s box of the nearly plausible, yet clearly risible.

(For the record we’re not big on practical jokes, but we love the imaginative ones.)

First off, Trent Reznor’s diss on Chris Cornell wins the prize for just the right mix of sly jabs and elaborate execution.

In the comics tab:

The Daily Cross Hatch has a RADICAL new home:

It goes without saying that, in our search for a new home, we were seeking a place with a true acceptance and understanding of the sequential art medium. Fortunately, that home came to us. According to the higher-ups at Wizard, we first came to the magazine’s attention shortly after a recent interview. To paraphrase the executive who contacted me, “we love what you did with Liefeld, and would like to see what you can do with Red Hulk.”

The better you know Mike Pasciullo, the funnier this is:

Pasciullo, who has no formal artistic training, is currently at Marvel Entertainment as Vice President of Merchandising and Communication. He was discovered locally by Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada.

“I was stunned. “We were in a meeting discussing the upcoming San Diego Comic-Con, and I noticed Mike drawing. A lot,” recounts Quesada. “I looked over his shoulder and saw the most breathtaking Spider-Man sketch. I was stunned.”

Pasciullo, it turns out, had been honing his skills during meetings for several years and accumulated a collection of work featuring numerous legendary Marvel characters and Philadelphia-based sports figures.

Vibe: Rebirth is another well done, elaborate hoax.

Dumm Comics– it helps to know the original but you still get the point.

Ah, this one cuts TWO ways: Masterpiece Theater to Focus on Graphic Novels in 2010:

“To tell you the truth, we’re completely bored with the classics,” said Cholmondeley Rodriguez, spokesperson for WHAH, the heretofore unknown PBS station in Poughkeepsie. “All those bonnets, carriages, and British accents? They don’t fit with today’s consumer’s needs.”

What does fit with those needs, Rodriguez says, are graphic novels. “We want to introduce the faster storytelling pace of modern graphic novels. We’re working on a completely authentic version of Watchmen right now. None of that Zack Snyder superficial stuff. We didn’t simply build an Owlmobile; we went back in time to make sure we constructed it only of materials that Alan Moore could have envisioned during the 1980s.”

In the non-comics category:

TheOneRing.net announced a Hobbit “trilogy” with a potentially lucrative new focus:

Our insider also mentioned some legal wrangling with the Tolkien Estate to acquire additional rights to materials not currently under license which would provide the bulk of the plot for the third movie. What specifically this could be is a guess, but our source seems to imply delving into the back-story of the Istari (Wizards) including Gandalf and Saruman’s youth in Valinor. The inclusion of other young wizards at the academy would provide an opportunity for cameos from LOTR actors who’s story arc doesn’t fit into The Hobbit. The latter would go a long way toward explaining recent cryptic quotes from LOTR actors about possible appearances in The Hobbit.

The Guardian has the most timely:

Consolidating its position at the cutting edge of new media technology, the Guardian today announces that it will become the first newspaper in the world to be published exclusively via Twitter, the sensationally popular social networking service that has transformed online communication.

Finally, Think Geek has a whole page of would-be products, including the divine-sounding Squeez Bacon®

A few years after WWII ended, a young man working in a small restaurant in Sweden developed a new way to process bacon. By precooking it and blending it in a special way, he was able to make a fully cooked 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube. Knowing he had discovered something paradigm-shifting, young Vilhelm Lillefläsk quickly went into business.

And this, the one item that the most people seem to wish really existed: Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull. Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is “Attack of the Clones” you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of “Empire Strikes Back”.

Thanks to all on Twitter and email who helped out with links! See ya next year!