Last night’s American Idol finale — we were RIGHT on the money — included such spectacles as Lady Gaga and 71 year old Tom Jones, but also Reeve Carney, who plays Spider-Man in the cursed Spider-Man musical, singing the song’s big ballad alongside composers Bono and the Edge. Carney looked very sincere as his sang, or something. Some stunt Spideys swung overhead, and one lowered himself down, Ditko-style, attempting to win a kiss from the world’s most beautiful woman, Jennifer Lopez. But JLo just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Perhaps she had used up all her pity earlier in the evening when she attempted to show that her husband Skeletor, aka Marc Anthony, was cute by shimmying around him in a skimpy fringe dress while he sang a song in Spanish about pon farr.
Heidi MacDonald is the founder and editor in chief of The Beat. In the past, she worked for Disney, DC Comics, Fox and Publishers Weekly. She can be heard regularly on the More To Come Podcast. She likes coffee, cats and noble struggle.