Spider-Man Brand New Day doesn’t hit theaters until July 31st, but fans’ promotional senses are already tingling. For instance, Little Caesar’s just announced a tie in pizza, the Webbaroni, an $8.99 pie topped with two cheeses and shredded pepperoni arranged in the form of a web.
While no true New Yorker would touch Little Caesar’s, all pizza is to some extent good pizza, and free pizza is definitely the best pizza. Little Caesar’s is kicking off this promotion with a “Swing By Peter’s Apartment For a Slice” activation, set up in Brooklyn.
You’re invited to a Webberoni Pizza Party at Peter Parker’s apartment! Swing by for an exclusive tour of the hero’s home as you discover easter eggs from the new movie and try the new Webberoni pizza from Little Caesars.
The promotion takes place June 27th at the Greenpoint Terminal Warehouse in Brooklyn, and if you hurry, maybe you can still RSVP.
There are several things wrong with this besides the pizza. For one thing, Peter Parker lives in Queens! That is canon!
Ok sure, the Greenpoint Terminal Warehouse is located conveniently in trendy Greenpoint/Williamsburg right off the East River (you can even take the ferry there) and i’m sure it’s a good space for this kind of thing.
But the photos of Peter Parker’s apartment show a deluxe, exposed brick industrial loft, not the kind of miserable hovel that a working class newspaper photographer would live in.
I’m not going to lie, this is like my dream apartment! I’ve wanted to live in an industrial loft my whole life, but all the good ones have become insanely expensive unless you want to move to a ghost mill town in the middle of nowhere.
The upscale nature of Peter Parker’s pad was immediately spotted on social media – it even has its own washer/dryer, a luxury that ordinary New Yorkers in their 400 sq foot rent controlled hobbit holes can only dream of. It has high ceilings, tons of exposed brick, hard wood floors and even lots of light!
Okay, sure, it’s drab, the refrigerator is crap, there’s no stove, and the floors need refinishing. Nothing that couldn’t be easily renovated. I would move in here in a heartbeat.
Checking Zillow, I found a comparable apartment in BedStuy renting for $5495 – actually a pretty good deal. It has more bedrooms and better floors but you get the idea. According to NY realtors, you would need an income of $219,800 to qualify for that rent. That isn’t really that much money these days, but it’s still a bit more than I think of Peter Parker making.
Maybe Peter’s industrial loft is an illegal sublet? That is more in the spirit of the Spider-Man I know. At least he’s still a Mets fan.
One of the details I loved most about Sam Raimi’s seminal Spider film trilogy is how crappy Peter’s apartment was. It was a tiny, filthy hovel with the bathroom down the hall, and absolutely the kind of place a struggling hero like Peter Parker would live.
It did have a spectacular window so that Spider-Man could swing out of it, but if you watch those videos of people living in a minuscule 100 sq ft NYC apartments they usually have one outstanding feature that makes it seem like you have a real home and not a closet.
Of course, I realize that the Little Caesar’s activation has to be large enough to have actual humans go through it, and more than two at a time. So it has to be bigger than life. And all famous NYC apartments in media are way too big, as the Friends chateau showed.
Still, face it, tiger, you just hit the real estate jackpot.
