I think the money makers at Diamond Select Toys are secretly testing the market for an upcoming adult toy line.

The Free Comic Book Day Facebook page posted a typical a nerd baiting question with no possible answer: who would win in fight between Spider-Man’s most popular nemesis Venom or the cult classic 80’s extraterrestrial nightmare Xenomorph? Of course this wasn’t a sponsored post to promote Diamond Select Toys’ wide variety bottle openers, but it sure as hell looks like it. The comments are full of well informed, substantial arguments on who would come on top. But some Facebook users couldn’t help to mention the fact that the Xenomorph opener bares a striking resemblance of a penis.

alienvsvenom

How could Venom fare against Xenomorph’s veiny, long shaft and bulbous mushroom tip? I couldn’t image using this cold metal bottle opener bringing any kind of pleasure aside from opening a cold brewski, but the people of the Internet will find a way. Nonetheless, you can’t but help but appreciate the H. R. Giger work on the Alien series. Diamond Select Toys would like to remind you that Christmas is around the corner, and this would make a good stocking stuffer. Talk about gag gifts. *This was not a sponsored post by Diamond Select Toys.*

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alienopener

5 COMMENTS

  1. You shouldn’t make those kinda comments, when your website is ComicsBEAT.com… LOL! Kinda biting the hand that BEATS you…

  2. H. R. Geiger used a lot of biological and organic inspiration in his work, making for some disturbing and unsettling imagery.
    There’s even two bars he designed, but I would not drink there…

    What’s even more disturbing… that’s the Queen that Ripley fights.
    …and even more disturbing, how the xenomorphs replicate, Lovelace-style.

    As for the debate:
    The symbiote, noting the more powerful entity in the xenomorph, instantly vacates Eddie Brock for the Xenomorph. Brock is instantly killed, and the Xembiote, under the control of the suit, then takes over the universe.

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