If you read the title of this piece and thought, “the DEFINITIVE ranking?! Pfffft,” I don’t blame you. But with all the memes starring one Baby Yoda (a.k.a. Yodito, as coined by Kate Sánchez) floating around the Internet right now, it seems remiss not to consider whether or not the 50 year-old infant is really the cutest of cute beings in the Star Wars universe.
Thus, I’ve embarked on an impossible task, for the good of all: ranking them via the highly objective* standard of my own preference, as well as the input of my partner, some friends, and several members of The Beat staff.
Criteria to make it onto this list is simple: they have to be cute. If they aren’t cute, they aren’t on the list. Don’t @ me with questions about Jar Jar Binks (definitely a member of the Sith) or Jabba the Hutt or that scrawny thing who cackles like a witch while Leia is in chains.
Actually, you can @ me, just don’t expect me to entertain your false notions of adorable. Anyway, let’s look at 18 cute beings from Star Wars!
18. Blurrgs
Blurrgs have the most delightful walk, and once they’re tamed, they seem like sweeties! They look a little bit like an angler fish met a dinosaur, which is pretty cool.
17. Jawas
I can’t help but have a soft spot for these tiny trash goblins.
16. Yoda
Frustratingly vague, yet adorable, he is.
15. Max Rebo
Max Rebo looks like a heffalump wandered into Star Wars, and I’m here for it.
14. Tauntauns
Tauntauns have similar faces to Falkor from The Neverending Story, which makes them far more endearing than they have any right to be.
13. Loth-cats
OK, loth-cats are really cute. Don’t let their little chicken legs fool you!
12. Caretakers
These Lanai women have no patience for a training Rey, and they seem to embody both sweet old grandmas and super strict nuns all at once.
11. C-3PO
Perhaps the most anxious droid in the galaxy, C-3PO somehow manages to be both over- and underprepared at all times, and he’s very sweet in his way.
10. Chewbacca (Wookies)
Does anyone else want a big bear hug from Chewie, or is it just me?
9. R2-D2
R2-D2 is one of the sassiest, most loyal droids in the galaxy. They waddled and strolled so BB-8 could rock and roll.
8. Vulptices
Ice fox! What’s not to love about an ice fox?!
7. Buggles (Voorpaks)
This long-legged, still semi-feral creature is adorable and kind of weird, and I would snuggle him often.
6. K-2SO
“I’ll be there for you. The captain said I had to.”
5. Porgs
Snuggly birb friends!
4. BB-8
BB-8 will fight you if you hurt their people, which I respect. This little rolly droid deserves all the cooing and other praise.
3. Ewoks
Save a teddy bear, hug an Ewok. I’d go to Endor just to hang out with these fierce little dudes.
2. Baby Ewoks
Baby Ewoks deserve their own spot on the list because they’re just that much cuter than adult Ewoks, which is saying a lot!
1. Baby Yoda (a.k.a. Yodito)
C’mon. This child is like Gizmo meets kittens meets human infants. Every time Baby Yoda is on screen, we all just make squeaking noises. No one in the Star Wars universe is cuter. That’s just facts.
Have a music video!
*Obviously this list isn’t objective, y’all, let’s just have some fun talking about cute stuff in Star Wars. It’s not that serious!