Home Culture Late Night You know what burns my ass?

You know what burns my ass?


We’re stressed and crabby here at Stately Beat Manor. Deadlines, projects, research. Luckily about 85% of it is getting done, and that’s a fairly good percentage, but it’s taking a toll and we’re here to let you know we’ve had it up to HERE with the following:

• Microsoft Word’s Style Gallery. What the fuck is this anyway? Why can’t I just change my default font to Helvetica without going through some kind of asinine and over-complicated style changing global template rigamarole? I have met rocket scientists, brain surgeons and cancer researchers, but I have never met anyone who knew how to use Word’s Style Gallery.

• While I’m picking on Word, I hate “Clippie.” Yes, I am writing a letter, dumbass, and I don’t need your help! I know you can disable this in that mysterious “global command center” but it always seems to come back on, on PCs, anyway. Fun Fact: there are other Clippies, like a cat clippie and a little girl clippie, in case you don’t like the paper clip one. I have zero sympathy for the type of people who must be aided in their passage towards the mystical process of setting a tab that they need a cutesy animated “guide.” Seriously, MS Word is so evil…why does it double in size every time they upgrade it? I got even by stealing it off Limewire.

• Fucking printer cartridges the size of an agent’s heart. About five years ago I bought an Epson stylus printer for like $79. The ink cartridges were about the size of a pack of cards, and I had to change them maybe once every 9-12 months. Sure they cost $50 a pop for all four, but it was a reasonable expense.

Then, last fall I bought a Hewlett Packard printer/scanner/copier for $100. Decent deal I thought, except that in 9 months I have spent easily $200 on ink cartridges. Yes I know this is the current scam, but I never imagined it could be this venal and wasteful! I am currently going through many proofs of a 112 page graphic novel. Basically, I have to buy a new black cartridge every time I print out the lettering on a 26 page story to proof! (I can’t proof onscreen, as you may have noticed.) I have purchased two black cartridges this week alone! That’s outrageous!

Now, “Beat,” you may be asking, “why don’t you just, you know, print things at the office, in the King Missile tradition?” Well, first, that would be wrong. Second, the crappy PC I have at the office freezes up every time I open a TIF. I tried just what you suggest one evening, and didn’t leave the office until 10 pm because it took hours to print one story.

This dinky print cartridge scam is an affront against human decency, and wasteful to the environment, as well. Once things calm down I am investing in a home printer with an ink cartridge that can survive printing more than a single poem by e.e. cummings.

• Women’s issues and the illogical thinking they bring out from EVERYONE. I am especially sick of talking about the sexualization of children! If you like reading stories about sexy children, I want nothing to do with you, get it? I am sick of all this gender stuff because I have to live it every day. I am sick of being a woman! From now on I’m a dog on the internet.

• A flame about this high.


  1. wow. one post with comic books, take stuff from work (i loved them so much in high school), and the depravity of the printer industrial complex.

    that there is gold, solid gold.

  2. Sounds like it might be time to turn to other word processors. *Free* ones, like Abiword, OpenOffice, or Scribus. All of these are Win/Mac/Linux compatible, (though OpenOffice runs like a dog on my Mac, so if you want that kind of complete Office replacement for Mac, try NeoJ instead).

    BTW, I actually use Word Style Gallery all the time, but I’m not a rocket scientist, brain surgeon, or cancer researcher. Just a lowly tech writer.

  3. I never understood the need for color printers. Heidi, I would suggest you buy a basic fax/scanner/copier/printer that uses a tones cartridge. Leave the color vampire turned off unless needed.
    Now, what type of cartridge do you use, and where can we send them?

  4. Ed Sizemore: “Well, let me admit publicly I was wrong. Turns out the Nymphet is a vial work and should be denounced. Seven Seas president just explained his decision behind the cancellation. Finally someone who has read the series is giving some concrete information. Sorry to post here, but the Nymphet post is locked.”

    Well, let me admit that you were wrong, also. I suspected that it was a vile work from that single page. Easier to get worked up over HEROES FOR HIRE, which you probably also didn’t read. Sorry to post here, but the Nymphet post is locked.

  5. I join in your hatred of Word, and I’ll add its weird tendency, if you make the mistake of trying to use it for any sort of layout, to randomly change section breaks to page breaks. And then if you change it back, it converts the break above to a page break.

    A little while ago Microsoft was talking about selling stripped-down versions of Word, without all the bells and whistles, to developing countries at a discount. I’d actually pay extra for that.

  6. I am thinking that the talking Gorillas are already out there and somehow linked to the printer companies and their business practices. Surely only an animal could come up with a sales strategy that diabolical and heartless. Glad I wore my tin foil hat to work today. Not sure why people are avoiding me int he halls though… I am thinking the Gorillas are again responsible.

  7. Heidi, get a cheap Mac/PC compatible laser printer and use it for proofing lettering. Toner is far cheaper and lasts way longer than an inkjet cartridge.

    Laser Printers also print much faster than inkjet printers, and a toner cartridge is good for 5,000+ pages before you need to change the cartridge. No need for special paper either.

  8. Hiya Ace,

    Like Mark Sweeney says, get a Lasr Printer. I got mine for 129 bones at Office depot. B&W only but the toner cartridges last WAY longer than printer carts for ink jets.

    Hope yer good, thanks for writing so much great stuff!


  9. *hugs* Heidi, we love you.

    As for printers, I recommend a used Cannon (I have an i850). IMHO, they have the longest-lasting ink of pretty much anything else out there, and if you get one with seperate CMYK cartridges, then the black is only something like $12.

  10. Definitely pick up a cheap laser printer. You can find several multifunction units for around $100 or less, and the toner is usually $25-50 and will last for literally thousands of pages.

    Using an inkjet for anything but color proofs or photos is a waste of money (and for cheap inkjets, it’s cheaper to print photos elsewhere, too!). Any inkjet that costs less than $300 is pretty much guaranteed to be a total ripoff on ink cartridges — pay more upfront and you’ll save several times as much in the long run.

  11. there, there, miss beat. we all sympathize with you, i think. and I, at least appreciate your recent frenetic-pace of updated postings on the hottest topics to comic geeks everywhere! ;)

    this is nothing a nice, long bath with some boozing and a fave movie won’t cure. As for the printing thing, yes it is a scam. But only in that it is like the gas for cars we use, too few have your courage to bring up the topic for fear of angering the printer gods. new tech is definitely needed on this front.

  12. Heidi, for your needs I agree that a low-end laser printer would be best. But if you (or anyone else reading this) needs to use an ink-jet, I recommend you find one of those places that re-fill cartridges. They’re all over the place. When there’s a demand, the market provides. I’ve found five of them in Cheyenne, Wyoming for chrissakes. Refill a $30 cartridge for $6. Black and white or color.

    Not a perfect solution, especially for HP cartridges because the print heads on the cartridges wear out after a while, but I can still extend the useful life of one cartridge 3 or 4 times this way. And it is oh, so gratifying to stick it to HP this way.

  13. Instead of buying originals or refilling cartridges I’d suggest go in for lower cost compatible cartridges.
    Among the three, original equipment manufacturer(oem), ink refill or compatible cartridges, the last one is the ideal option. Taking into consideration the cost—hands down refill and compatible cartridges trump over the OEM. But most users claim (due to ink refill), that they experience consequences. i think this would be due to the refill (rule of thumb: only refill a cartridge ONCE. More than this and you risk diminishing the quality of the printout and damaging the cartridge and/or the printer itself)

    I get my HP ink cartridges online. Aside from HP, you can find a variety of compatibles like epson cartridges, cartridge discount laser minolta toner, tektronix 7300 printer ink and pitney bowes fax toners. Luckily, I have yet to go through any of the consequences that other consumers have experienced with regard refilling and compatibles.

    With these items raised, my money would be with the compatible cartridges.

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