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The most disturbing Ewoks of all


Topless Robot pulls off the scab and reminds us that David Lynch might have directed RETURN OF THE JEDI, but apparently George Lucas made him eat a salad or something. Just think about that movie for a minute, and remember the scene where Logray starts to go out to the communal sweat lodge, but as he gets closer, sees something very disturbing out of the corner of his eye, and looking down…finds a Wookiee ear covered by ants. As he enters the lodge, there is a hard cut to Wicket, suddenly anxious and complaining. And then remember how they found Logray dancing by himself, snapping his fingers at the big celebration? And Han ate a cherry pie.

That was an AWESOME movie.

  1. I cant remember the names of the movies, and it seems to me they renamed them to make the 6 episodes a series. If we number the 6 Star Wars movies in their chronological running order, so that for example the original first movie is numbered episode 4… I think it might have made sense if Lynch had directed maybe episode 3, in other words, the “last filmed” episode. Or maybe Episode 2.
    Which one had the flying Clothes Iron?
    Gawd they bored me.

    Okay, so Lynch’s troubled Star Wars versions might have been filled with interior monologues and insects, and featured the latent spirit of Salvadore Dali and his late wife Gala covered in ants joined by elephants with a chest of drawers opening on their legs. But maybe, and just maybe, the films would have been interesting to watch, and not just mammoth toy and action figure commercials.

  2. I see a scene with a crying Jabba the Hut inhaling amyl nitrite while trying to seduce slave Leia Bikini by calling her “baby” and then “mommy”.

  3. lol!! to all the Lynchian-SW combo! :D

    I think he would have actually improved some things from the film, but it also would have been NOTHING like the previous 2! Still, an interesting concept.

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