It’s movie night on Riverdale! The tape from the end of last week plays. Alice, Skeet, Charles, Betty and Jughead watch. It’s just 6 hours of footage of the outside of their front door. Cheryl and Toni get one too, as do Archie and Veronica. Even Pops gets one at the diner.
Alice and Skeet have rekindled their romance. It looks like Alice and Betty are staying with Skeet and JB at their old house?
Toni tries to convince Cheryl to say goodbye to Jason, who looks like he’s dressed up in costume. Well, it is Halloween. But his costume seems to just be zombie, so maybe it’s not a costume. Man, that table must smell. After Toni points how how weird this all is, Cheryl agrees to bury Jason. Toni offers to help. The Blossom house is easily the most f’d up house on Riverdale.
Moose is thinking about joining the army. He tells Jughead that he’s 18 and can leave high school. Moose’s new nickname at school is Gargoyle Boy. I mean, is that really that vicious?
Two guys at school dresses as the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood. It’s two guys we’ve never seen before. Principal Honey puts an end to it, but not before Betty seems them in costume and has a mild panic attack.
Reggie hits the lounge, looking for people to help TP Principal Honey’s office. Kevin is in. Everyone else is “too mature.”Monroe (Even I stopped calling him Mad Dog) comes in and almost spills the beans that Archie beat up that drug dealer. The dealer, Dodger, is out looking for whoever beat him up. Archie and Monroe have an idea to keep kids off the streets on Halloween, namely a Halloween party at the gym. Veronica tells them, “One of my friends in NY, Katy Keene,” can design them costumes. Wait isn’t that Batwoman? (It’s not, that’s Kate Keane. Katy Keene is an Archie Comics character and soon to be star of her own TV series.
Jughead and Brent argue over who is sarier, Lovecraft or Poe. This leads to a talk about The Stonewall Four, who are four students who all went missing over the course of 30 years or so. Mr. Chipping thinks they just dropped out. Jughead’s a little worried because Brent wants to make it The Stonewall Five, with Jughead in the five spot.
Toni and Cheryl return from burying Jason to find a Jason doll on the couch. Cheryl blames it on Jason’s ghost being mad at Toni for making Cheryl bury him. Toni, just get out now.
Jughead does some research on the Stonewall 4. Donna, last week’s prize writer, offers him coffee and I immediately think it’s drugged. Riverdale paranoia is a real thing. But then Jughead starts going all googly eyed and passes out. Oh hey, it turns out I’m not paranoid! Brent and the other kids from his class drugged him! What the heck? I knew Brent was a jerk, but Donna? And those other two??
Archie and Monroe are dressed as Pureheart the Powerful and The Shield. And they’re straight out of the comics! That Katy Keene does good work. Betty is dressed as Laurie Strode from Halloween (you know, just like tonight’s episode title. Good one, Riverdale) and JB is dressed as the We Can Do It lady. Betty looks so different out of her tight ponytail. Two trick or treaters show up as the Gargoyle King and the Black Hood. That Gargoyle King costume is way too elaborate for a kid to do on his own. What is with the parents of Riverdale? Let’s dress up our kids like the local serial killer from earlier this year!
Jughead wakes up inside a closed coffin. Good thing he had that Zippo on him. Why does Jughead carry a Zippo? Jugs, you’re burning away all your oxygen. He calls for Brent to let him out, but no one answers.
Betty gets a call. It’s just heavy breathing and then a hang up. Followed by another ring on the phone. The caller implies to Betty that he’s the Black Hood. Before she hangs up, he says “Have you checked on the children lately?” Betty double checks her locks.
A weirdo trucker in overalls shows up tho Pops just as Veronica is closing up. Girl, kick this freak out. She lets him in. I’m sure this will end greeeeeaaaat.
The gym is hosting a Halloween party for the kids. Archie conficates a switchblade from one kid right before the drug dealer, Dodger, and his crew come in. Dodger kind of recognizes Archie from last week’s Riverdale, and he definitely recognize one of his drug dealing kids, the switchblade kid from moments earlier. Monroe and Archie kick Dodger out before Dodger can return that kid to the streets
Cheryl and Toni are dressed up as Ivy and Harley. Just as they start making out, the twins begin crying on the monitor. But then they go check and the kids are asleep. Okay, weird. Nana says she heard crying from her brother in the chapel. Inside the chapel is Jason’s doll and another baby monitor. Cheryl swears she’s not messing with Toni and suggests having a Halloween seance to commune with Jason’s spirit.
Principal Honey catches Reggie and Kevin vandalizing his office. Honey leaves Reggie in his office and takes Kevin away.
Betty hears a thump in her house. She rushes upstairs to find JB unconscious and bleeding on the floor. JB pops up! It was a joke. Oh JB, that slit throat was a nice touch. But who is going to get all of this fake blood out of the rug? The phone rings again. The person on the other end says he’s Betty father, Betty’s dead father. He claims the call is coming from inside the house. Betty grabs a hot poker from the fireplace before answering the banging on the front door. Except it’s just Charles with a pizza.
In his coffin, Jughead is playing with his Zippo, looking for any sign of how to get out. He’s starting to panic.
At the diner, Veronica brings the weird man his food. He shows her a photo of his family. He’s sweet and yet, still super creepy. His sweetness somehow makes him creepier.
Charles offers to trace the call for Betty.
Honey and Kevin have a heart to heart. Kevin wants to go to Tisch for theatre. Honey says that won’t happen after Carrie, Heathers and after tonight. Kevin sells Reggie out immediately to save his future in theater. Honey excuses him.
Archie tries to go all Dangerous Minds on Eddie. Monroe interrupts, because there is trouble out front. Dodger and his crew are hanging out in the parking lot and they’ve ignited some trash cans for warmth. Archie is ready to fight, but oh hey, Dodger was smart enough to carry his gun on this week’s Riverdale.
Archie heads back inside and calls Skeet for backup, but gets his voicemail. Archie sees only one solution: keep the party going until the cops come.
Cheryl, Toni and Nana Rose sit around a Ouija board. Toni is convinced Cheryl is moving the marker around. When Cheryl asks the spirit’s name, J is the answer. Toni isn’t having any of this. Nana says it’s not Jason, it’s Julian. Apparently Julian was Jason and Cheryl’s triplet. Nana explains Cheryl absorbed Julian, she ate him in the womb. Penelope bought this doll and reared it alongside her other kids until they weren’t infants and then retired the doll to the attic. Toni thinks this is all bullshit. Toni flat out asks Cheryl if this creepy haunting will stop if they unbury Jason and replace him with the doll. Cheryl happily agrees.
Honey sits down with Reggie. He knows about Reggie’s dad abusing him. He gives Reggie some tough love, telling him that people are laughing at him, not with him. He tells Reggie to clean up his office.
Charles and Betty lay it on the table. Charles says Betty doesn’t fully trust him and Betty agrees. The phone rings again. Charles starts his trace. Betty keeps talking to keep the prank caller on the phone. Charles traced the call. He says it’s coming from Shady Grove Treatment Center, where Polly is staying. Is she prank calling Betty? Charles calls Polly, as Edgar.Polly is excited to hear from Edgar, but Betty tells her Edgar is worm food and reams her out for prank calling her. Polly seems legitimately confused enough that I start to wonder if Charles made that trace up and that he was the one prank calling earlier. But if that’s the case, then who was calling just now?
At Pops, the creepy driver sticks around for dessert. A news report breaks through the movie on the TV. The Family Man is a serial killer who recently escaped from Shady Gove. He makes people cook him meals before killing them. Oh, and he recently killed a trucker. Veronica quickly puts two and two together and runs into the phone booth that leads to La Bon Nui. The Family Man follows. Veronica runs behind the bar and fills a bowl with alcohol before killing the lights. The Family Man also has a zippo. Is this episode sponsored by Zippo? Veronica dumps booze on him, igniting him. She hits him with a chair and runs upstairs, his unconscious body in flames on the floor. Wait, did Veronica’s entire plan hinge on him carrying around an open flame looking for her? What if he, oh I don’t know, just used to iPhone flashlight like everyone else?
Skeet pulls up to the gym in time for gunshots to ring out. Eddie’s been shot!
Charles wants to recommend Betty to the Junior FBI Training Program. She says she’ll think about it.
Reggie worked all night to clean up Honey’s office. They walk out of school together in the early morning sun. Someone vandalized Reggie’s car, smashing its widows and covering it in toilet paper. Honey blames it on hooligans, very unconivincily.
Jason is back in the house. Sheryl brushes his hair. Toni, you gotta get out of there.
Jughead wakes up still in the coffin after having a nightmare about waking up still in the coffin. He hears a noise, so he calls out. Mr. Chipping opens the coffin. The other students tell him it means he belongs now. Chipping says he wasn’t involved. Brent tires to scare Jughead into leaving school, but Jughead is determined to stay.
Archie visits Eddie in the hospital. Eddie is worried about the optics of this, that it makes him look like a snitch. Apparently, a lot of kids live on the street in Riverdale. How does this suburban town have a murder rate and homeless population higher than Detroit? Wait, is Riverdale Camden?
veronica and Archie compare notes in bed. Archie is impressed with Veronica holding off that serial killer. I’m impressed that Archie kept his shirt on all episode. Was The Family Man arrested? Or did Veronica kill him? That had to be some intense burns, either way. When Archie laments about Dodger and the guys on the streets, Veronica suggests cleaning up the streets. Archie takes that to mean vigilantism, not you know, starting a foundation or something. Bad Decision Archie strikes again!
The doll is back. Toni is pissed. Cheryl admits to gaslighting Toni earlier, but says not this time. Nana Rose says it’s Julian. Cheryl seems to take it in stride. Toni, get out of there!
Moose is gone, along with all his stuff. Jughead wonders if the other students locked him in the coffin to keep him from helping Moose. Over the phone, Betty tells Jughead she’s starting to trust Charles. And then we see that Charles is listening in on Betty’s calls. Jughead tells Betty he know that she’d always be the one to find his body if he was locked away again.
Flash forward to the Rivedale Coroner’s Office. Skeet and Betty ID Jughead’s body! What the?? Season 4 isn’t looking hot for our boy Jughead!