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Oscar Dos and Dont’s

23

* RATATOUILLE won a much deserved Oscar® for Best Animated Film. Suzie Templeton won Best Animated Short won for PETER & THE WOLF, which we didn’t pick in our handicapping, but which we enjoyed the most of all the shorts we watched, so hey we’re happy. Seriously check it out online…it has some amazing stop-motion animation.

* This is kind of hard to admit after all these years but…Jon Stewart isn’t that great an ad-libber. He has a few zingers. Best Line: “Even Norbit was nominated which was nice, because many times Oscar doesn’t recognize movies that aren’t very good.”

* The binoculars tribute was very touching.



* Did you notice in that Best Picture montage how about 1980 things began to get seriously wonky and movies that just don’t stand the test of time (Shakespeare in Love, Terms of Endearment, A Beautiful Mind) began to start winning? Of course there’s one every decade: Oliver! and The Greatest Show On Earth representing the Bad Oscars of the 60s and 50s, respectively. (Confession: The Beat loves The Greatest Show On Earth.)

* Wow, were Joel and Ethan Coen just hopping with excitement after all their wins or what? (That was sarcasm.) Seriously, we’re overjoyed at their much deserved win after a full career of masterpieces.


It was a dubious night for fashion. Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Garner’s hair looked horrific. The only thing worse was the Mongolian space alien get-up seen on Bette Davis in some archival footage. It is not glamourous to have hair in your face and trust us, we know.

With the sudden settlement of the WGA strike leaving little time for Oscar® prep, an edict must have gone out that everyone should do their dress shopping at Loehmann’s. Why were so many pretty young actresses being attacked by ruffles and feathers, like Anne Hathaway?

It is a crime for Penelope Cruz to look frumpy!

Nicole Kidman must have stopped at one of those Tibetan bead shop on the way to the show and decided that loading up was the way to go. Seriously…WTF?

We are sad to say that the worst dress of the night was Diablo Cody. This was not a shining moment for the writing crowd. We could have accepted the whole “Let’s go to Spaceland and be Riot Grrls” retro-90s look, but THE FIRST RULE OF DRESSING UP is “Do not wear a dress which you are so afraid will show your pocahontas that you must constantly put an envelope in front of your crotch.” Cringeworthy.

See? Tilda Swinton has the whole asymmetrical, slit thing going on but it didn’t go so high that she had to hide her pocahontas behind an envelope. That’s the voice of experience right there.

As for the good, Katherine Heigl was a little Dynasty, but at least she didn’t have ruffle/feather overdose.

Winner Marion Cotillard’s dress was quite different, but it had some style and uniqueness to it. She was so pretty and did the hair down look but with elegance and sophistication.That eez why we must love ze French!

62-year-old Helen Mirren was one of the most stylish and well put together ladies on the carpet. Again. Experience!

But for experience, no one can touch 86-year-old Jane Russell. She knows the real meaning of fashion. Comfy shoes!

Of course, we are really not one to talk where fashion is concerned.

23 COMMENTS

  1. Will Pfeifer’s movie column last week talked about Picabo and her many leopard print dresses. guess she couldn’t break the habit for Oscar Night.

  2. I truly am confounded why any one (not involved with a major studio’s marketing department) watches the show, let alone who cares who wins.

    It would all just be annoying, if it weren’t so disgusting.

  3. Regarding the Coens, that’s the way we roll in Minnesota (they are originally from St. Louis Park, a Minneapolis suburb). Don’t get too excited, don’t stick your head out too far, etc.

    Diablo Cody is the exception that proves the rule.

  4. An Oscar fashion post~
    Geez Heidi, aren’t you better than this?

    I try to ignore the random “I’m going to act like a 12 year old girl and post a picture of a dreamy actor boy” posts that plague your blog from time-to-time. I pretend some of your other vapid name-dropping “golly gee I wish I was famous too” posts aren’t there either.

    When The Beat focuses on interesting news and commentary, it’s quite enjoyable. When you slip into gossip and insecure personal wish fulfillment, it’s just kind of sad.

  5. “I try to ignore the random “I’m going to act like a 12 year old girl and post a picture of a dreamy actor boy” posts that plague your blog from time-to-time.”

    I’ve always enjoyed that about Heidi. It’s cute.

  6. I saww someone suggested that every year the Oscars should take back one of their awards they had previously given out, “Titanic, upon frurther review, we’re giving your Best Picture Award to L.A. Confidential.”

    Also, Heidi, what did you win your Oscar for?

  7. All y’all (so far) are guys. I’m a gal (an old one, but still …) and I enjoy these posts. I’m about as fashion-handicapped as Heidi (^_^), but it’s still fun. And the Oscar ceremony itself was so boring, what else is there to talk about anyway?

    And this is Heidi’s blog, she gets to post whatever she wants.

  8. My reaction to Diablo Cody winning ‘Best Screenplay’- “Oh look, Wilma Flintsone won an Oscar.”

    I was waiting for her to thank Ellen Pagerock and Jason Slateman.

    -Steve!

  9. Eh, Diablo Cody broke up as she thanked her parents for accepting her as she is, so I’m inclined to let the dress go too. She’ll know better for next time.

    I tape the Oscars and then fast forward through the whole thing, stopping only to catch a few of the funny bits and some of the acceptance speeches. Takes about 20 minutes.

    I’m A-OK with the Bros Coen NOT declaring themselves Kings of the World, though they are the kings of my movie-lovin’ heart.

  10. I’m just glad that someone else watches the Oscars so I don’t have to. I get to read enough twelve year-old boy posts on other comics sites that the occasional twelve year-old girl post here is kind of refreshing.

  11. even though Ratatouille is perhaps my favorite Pixar film, I still think Persepolis should have won. I mean, it may be a brilliant, incredibly funny cartoon about a cooking rat, but its still a cartoon about a cooking rat against a film with actual meaning beyond “be yourself! objectivism is cool!”, and I’m saying this as probably the biggest cartoon dork I know.

  12. When The Beat’s readers focus on interesting news and commentary, it’s quite enjoyable. When they slip into mean-spirited snark about Heidi’s perfectly charming gossip and personal wish fulfillment, it’s just kind of sad.

  13. Most shocking moment: seeing Colleen Doran’s ex-beau on the arm of Tilda Swinton.

    Jacob Fentz, Jonathan…you’re dull and snide. Go away.

  14. I disagree about Jon Stewart. He’s a great ad-libber. There just wasn’t much to work with this year, I think. He just seemed more concerned with congratulating people this year than last time he hosted. Maybe because he took a lot of heat for being too funny at the expense of the celebs previously.

    Anything beats Ellen.

  15. When The Beat focuses on interesting news and commentary, it’s quite enjoyable. When it slips into mean-spirited snark and Heidi’s personal wish fulfillment, it’s just kind of sad.

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