We’re guessing it was a sad day at Stately Beat Manor Saturday, as it was in the Helper Monkey’s cave, to see Manchester United capture yet another Premier League title. Of course, this is emotion partially born out of envy. Both FMB’s Villains and the Helper Monkey’s Toffees will finish again out of the Top Four and will spend next season competing for the Europa Cup instead of cashing big checks in the Champions League.

And now, with the season in England and Italy and Spain almost over, we turn our attention to … MLS? Nah, we’ll stick to baseball.


  1. Yeah us muppets from Anfield are kopping it double bad as well as the evil Uniteds’s win puts them level with us on 18 titles. Mind we beat them in the tie breaker of the number of European Cups we’ve won so we’re still the most successful team in the country (but damn we’d better keep up the progress and win the Premiership next season just to wipe that scum grin off Fergusons face)

  2. Major League Baseball would be much more interesting if we followed the German Bundesliga system of promotion and relegation. (The two worst teams from the first league switch places with the two best teams from the second league.) Of course, we would need to retool the farm system…

  3. Heidi, please let FMB know that his prayers for a Villa win on Sunday would be most welcome, thus putting Newcastle down and ensuring that Molly’s adopted team, Hull, stay up. And at least next year he’ll have a near guarantee of 6 points from wonderful Wolves.

  4. Hey, I know it’s not the EPL (or La Liga, or Serie A, or, or, or) but you might have more love for MLS if the New York team didn’t suck so bad, and have such a shitty game atmosphere. I don’t think I’d be a fan of MLS either, if all I had was the Pink Cows – sorry, Red Bulls.

    And here’s hoping Barca will put the hurt on Man U on the 27th!

  5. Wait, you live in DC and you’re “sticking to baseball”? You *are* a glutton for punishment. The Nats are a joke, and the O’s aren’t much better. Unless you’re talking about the Bowie Baysox or something…

    And if you’ve been to DC United games and didn’t have a good time, you’re sitting in the wrong section…

  6. Inhabiting one of the two places outside of the Champion’s League spots isn’t disastrous; Villa’s last ten or so games have been. Truly the worst “entertainment” to endure since Posh Spice started singing.

  7. I don’t live in DC. United are just the “closest” team to me, although that will change when Philadelphia joins in a couple years.

    I had a mostly good time the one trip to RFK to see United, except that it rained, if memory serves.

    On the other hand, I went to see the Galaxy play last year vs Salt Lake, during a time they were missing both Golden Balls and Landy Cakes. It was a fairly dull game, even though it ended in a 2-2 draw.

    From what I understand, Seattle or Toronto are the closest thing to a European atmosphere in the league now. I’d like to see matches there.

  8. Please have a word with your team regarding their performance this coming Sunday. They can easily break my heart for the next ten months by relegating Newcastle (even if they deserve it after this terrible, terrible season).