Look, it’s been a long time since we chatted — just the two of us. I know there’s a lot to talk about. Just pull up a chair — or a stool. Yes that stool. It’s the rule, everyone has a stool.
Anyway…I know I haven’t been communicating the way I should lately. I’ve been sleeping in, and racing out of the house without posting important stuff. You didn’t say anything but I know you were thinking it. The problem is, there’s just so much going on. It’s always feast or famine …too much happening or not enough. I could clone myself 3 times and sit here all day and I still could not encompass it all.
And you know, I’ve had my disappointments. Like how come no one told me Bruce Campbell got profiled in the frigging New York Times. It was the classic “cult guy becomes TV star” article — even though he’s already done that same thing 2 or 3 times before. But it was a good interview:
“All my neighbors are loggers and ranchers and tough guys,” he said. “One of them has a sign on his property that’s a big picture of a shotgun pointing at you, and it says, ‘We don’t call 911.’ I’m a fairly antisocial hermit type. So I like it up there.”
But he hasn’t been there much lately. Besides working on “Burn Notice” in Miami (where, he claims, he’s prone to “projectile sweating”), he’s been out on the hustings, finishing postproduction and greasing the promotional wheels for his next film, an indie horror-comedy called “My Name Is Bruce,” scheduled to open in October. He directed it and stars as a legendary B-movie actor named Bruce Campbell, who turns out to be a liquored-up jerk who ends up battling a nine-foot-tall sword-wielding Chinese god of war (and of bean curd) to save a small town. It is not a true story.
Apparently true is the story the One True Bruce tells about tearing his hamstring in an attempt to kick a stuntman, most likely because of his rapidly advancing age (TOTB turned 50 this year.)
It does get harder as time goes by, Bruce. I know it. You know it. But we’ll always be here, you and I. Because…the people need to KNOW.
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Heidi MacDonald is the founder and editor in chief of The Beat. In the past, she worked for Disney, DC Comics, Fox and Publishers Weekly. She can be heard regularly on the More To Come Podcast. She likes coffee, cats and noble struggle.