True Blood Recap: Teeth, Fighting and Sex

Season 3: Episode 5 – Trouble

Trouble was a somewhat troubling episode. After a strong show last week, True Blood seems to be struggling, once again, under the weight of all the new characters it’s introducing.  There’s just far too many vamps, weres, and other enigmas to get to know, much less get invested in, for the plot to move along at a lively, even pace.  Sorry to start off with a critique as opposed to a rundown but post-show, it’s the first thing that sticks out.

The first thing that happened on True Blood this week is another story.  Talbot’s stuck at Mississippi’s Vamp Versailles entertaining Franklin, who he obviously dislikes, and Tara, who he obviously wants to eat, when the King returns with Lorena and Bill.  At first Tara is stoked to see Bill but she knows something’s amiss when she sees that all three are still nonchalantly covered in stripper blood.  After the credits roll, everyone wants to know why Tara’s there.  She’s there because Franklin wants her there.  Tara, however, is in restraints, as Talbot snarkily points out. She calls out to Bill for help who lets her know he’s a changed dead man by refusing to come to her aid.  And wouldn’t you know it, fucking Lorena is right by Bill smirking at her with a look that says, “you’re so dead.” Russell’s right, she’s totally unsophisticated.

Russell’s also right that Franklin dragging Tara back to his supernatural crime syndicate headquarters will come to no good end.  He scolds Franklin about this in private, reminding him about the time he had to slaughter a group of elderly church women during a gambling trip gone wrong.  Franklin confesses that he’s really falling for Tara. Her crazy fits with his crazy. And he’s totally fucking crazy so this is a rarity for him.  The King is willing to allow it because Franklin’s been such a good gumshoe for him.  Franklin turns over the Stackhouse genealogical charts he found at Bill’s and the King says they need to find Sookie.  Franklin, one step ahead, lets him know she’s in Jackson. 

She’s actually driving away from last episode’s near mass were shift at Lou Pine’s with Alcide.  Alcide’s going on about Debbie’s drinking, drugging, and other were-dude doing ways while Sookie’s focused on finding Russell, as she rightly believes this will lead her to Bill.  Eric’s thinking the same thing.  Much to Talbot’s delight, he shows up at the manse asking permission to search for Bill in Mississippi territory and again, throws Bill under the bus as a known V seller.  Talbot calls bullshit on this, saying Bill’s far too square to sell V and he’s also not missing – he’s right fucking here. Just then Bill walks in and the King proceeds to play Bill and Eric against each other to glean more info about Sofie Anne’s vulnerabilities and Sookie’s powers.  Eric quickly confesses all, throwing Sofie Anne under the bus as he goes. He also tells the King about how Pam’s being held captive by the Magister.  The King goes off. He does not think highly of the Magister, saying that he only has power because they (the vampire community at large) give it to him. He says there may be a way to solve all their problems and insists Eric stay as his guest.  Russell is at all times playing all the angles and enjoying it. I like this about him. If I was a shifty, politically motivated southern vampire, I’d for sure be pledging my fealty his way.

Debbie Pelt isn’t even a southern vampire (she just likes to drink them) and she’s pretty much sworn her loyalty to him for all of her wanton redheaded life.  She’s over at Alcide’s saying as much when Sookie walks in on the two of them arguing.  As Alcide holds Debbie back, Sookie tells her off and tries to read her mind to find Bill but turns up empty.

Tara’s text message inbox is not empty.  It’s filled with messages from Lafayette saying, “Bitch where are you?” This sends Franklin into a jealous rage.  He demands to know who Lafayette is and seems pleased (or at least stops choking her) when Tara says he’s her gay cousin. He’s also pleased to show off his super fast vampire texting skills to Tara.  And while I’m not pleased about all the new characters on True Blood and how they’re slowing down the plot, I’m liking how Franklin’s getting fleshed out as a psychotic stalker vampire boyfriend with an abandonment complex.  I just wish they would stick to three to four characters per episode to move the plot forward instead of throwing so much at us.

Like how Jason’s been given a crappy desk job at the Sheriff’s office after bribing Andy Bellefleur last week.  And how elsewhere in Bon Temps, Sam’s moving his no good shape shifter family’s white trash trash bag luggage into one of the shabby apartments he rents out to lowlife waitresses like Arlene.  We know this because Arlene lives in the house next door and is excited that Sam’s dad will be available for handyman duties once he puts the contents of the family’s trash bags away.  Another thing that’s happening is that Terry’s moving into Arlene’s place also.  See? Too many things are happening that are extraneous to the primary Operation Werewolf plot.

I’d be content to have just seen more of Franklin and Tara interacting. But for the time being I’m happy the action’s shifted back over to Jackson. It’s daylight and Tara is slowly biting her way out of her restraints.  You go, girl! That hooker’s a fighter.   Sookie’s also a fighter.  She’s fishing through Alcide’s mind for information about the pack and werewolf politics even though he’s not allowed to tell her anything.  She tells him she can either read his mind, which she doesn’t want to do, or he can tell her what he knows.  He tells all – specifically that the pack is not a democracy. It’s teeth, fighting and sex. 

Before we can get to more of that, we’re treated to an 80’s movie style montage of Jason Stackhouse in office job hell.  Wouldn’t it be timelier to have him surfing internet porn? Or checking out a hot piece of tail’s Facebook profile? Or taking sexy face pics of himself with a cellphone camera?  Maybe I’m overestimating his technological savvy.  Tara’s been putting her captive downtime to productive good use though.  She’s out of her restraints and escaping!  Unfortunately, she gets out the front door of the manse a little too easily and, as she’s running across the lawn, she gets chased by a wolf who tackles her and shifts into a naked Coot slobbering all over her.  Fucking werewolves. 

If only Tara’s bad assmutherfuckin’ cousin, Lafayette was there to save her.  At some point this season I predict he’ll take a mangy werewolf hooker out but now right now he’s out in front of Merlotte’s with Tommy (who now also works at Merlotte’s) smokin’ cigarillos.  At least until his mother’s orderly, Jesus, shows up, looking and acting all dreamy.  He’s come to ask Lafayette to the movies!  Lafayette’s perplexed by this and while I’m happy Lafayette has a solid, hot love interest that I look forward to watching him make out with, again, I’m feeling a bit adrift with this whole new character coming in to get to know. At least anything related to Lafayette winds up circling back to the central plot though.

The same goes for Alcide, who’s decided to go to his Packmaster, Colonel Flood (yet another new character!), with everything he knows about the King supplying werewolves with V.  The Packmaster says that Alcide will be punished for telling Sookie, a human, about were goings ons.  Sookie puts on her extra intense super mind reading face and reads the Packmaster’s thoughts.  He’s scared.  Sookie tells him she knows he’s a huge pussy.  The Packmaster tells Alcide that according to Pack bylaws or whatever, he must obey him but after he drives off, Alcide tells Sookie he’ll put his trust in her instead.

Back in Bon Temps, Jason is now shirtless and washing police cars.  It seems like he’s finally doing some competent office maintenance work until the blonde he saw out in Hot Shot back when he tackled the meth dealer drives by.  Jason drives after her (still shirtless) in a police car and True Blood fans the world over go keeeraaayzay!  I didn’t give a shit about this scene and this new character and all the many new things we’re bound to learn about her in painfully long stretches of expository dialogue but I guess I’m in the minority.  Clearly the fans just want to see hot, shirtless pieces of meat because last night Jason Stackhouse was the #1 trending topic on Twitter for 12 hours.  Anyhoo, he begs her to meet him at Merlotte’s later. She demures but we all know she’ll show up.  Where the hell is she gonna go?  I’m convinced there’s literally nowhere else to go in Bon Temps.  Jessica still has nowhere else to go.  She’s still hostessing over there; bickering with Arlene and mooning over Hoyt who’s come in with possibly the most boring date in the world.