[UPDATED NOTE: As mentioned in the comments, the above image is a photoshopped version of a real image from SPIDER-MAN: THE OTHER, which was doctored by Matthew Craig. In reality, Spider-man’s EYE was poked out, but his genitals were not ripped off. And it was all a dream, too.]
We found the above image post at TinTin Pantoja’s LJ and it seems to sum up the general reaction to Graeme McMillan’s discovery that it was Spider-man’s radioactive semen that killed Mary Jane in Spider-Man: Reign #3:
Seriously, Marvel, WHAT THE FUCK? At what point did Spider-Man having radioactive sperm ever seem like a good idea? At what point did anyone even think about Spider-Man having radioactive sperm? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this ever saw print, I cannot believe that no-one at Marvel thought that having a comic where Spider-Man tells the corpse of his wife – because, yeah, I meant to say that, he’s talking to the corpse of his dead wife – that he killed her with his special radioactive spider-spunk was ANYTHING that should ever be allowed to appear in a comic. And that’s before you even get to the continuation of his admission: “Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer… I killed you.” Holy crap.
To get an idea of the context of this scene, as he’s saying this, the corpse of his wife is trying to kiss him with some kind of demon tongue. I was so numbed by the idea that Marvel somehow thinks that this is a perfectly publishable idea – that showing Marvel’s #1 licensing jackpot, the same character that they put on all manner of kid products, the same character who’s probably going to have the highest-grossing movie of the year this year coming out at the same time as the collection of this series, as being responsible for the death of his wife (potentially strong story idea, possibility for tragedy, etc.) specifically because of his radioactive jism (somewhere between WTF and TMI, and reducing potentially strong story idea to cheap dirty joke and/or bad idea, and something that I feel is kind of offensive in ways that I can’t really explain) – that, later on, when the book does a very, very obvious 9/11 rip-off (“Bodies are falling! From the top of the building!” – They’re not bodies, they’re mini-Venoms, by the way), I was just bored. This book has gone from Dark Knight rip-off to car-crash embarrassment far too quickly. Ass, and, boy, does someone on the blog have to complain that Marvel really has no idea what to do with their own characters anymore every single week?
The brou-ha-ha even brings John Jakala out of his eyrie with this Marvel Knights Poetry Corner in which he usefully reminds us that it was Spider-Man: Reign #1 which showed an old Peter Parker with his dingus hanging out. Jakala reminds us:
As Anton Chekhov once noted, “”If you’re going to show a penis in book one, it’d better go off by book three.”
Indeed, now we know that Spider-man was shooting zoomies. No wonder he is sad now and likes saltines.
But where is that page of Spidey’s dick getting ripped off from? The blogosphere is always going off on the torture and sexualized humiliations superheroines are going through, but it seems like Spidey’s private have seen a great deal of privation. What up with that?
Not having read any of the story in question, we’ll only say, come on guys, it’s an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. What did you expect? This isn’t about kittens in a candy store; this is SPARTA.