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The X-Men vs. The Avengers: A Review (Yes, I've Read the Whole Thing)

You may have witnessed some out of control hyperbole about Marvel’s recently announced Avengers Vs. X-Men. My personal favorite, courtesy of Newsarama’s recap:

Pre-taped words from all five writers. “There’s never been an Avengers vs. X-Men super-blowout, so it’s like, we have to do it,” Bendis says.

Never been one? Seems like I own copies of something answering that description…