Are Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz just friends?. We have no idea, but it would be cool if they BOTH starred in the movie version of LUBA wouldn’t it? Salma would be Luba and Penelope could be…Pipo!
Don’t worry, we’re going to keep this running gag up for quite a while. We know all our straight male readers have had to suffer through the Clive program and the DDGB program, not to mention a new upcoming program starring a newish drool-worthy star just for 2007! So in the meantime, let’s just keep casting that dream Luba movie.
We are way behind on everything here at Stately Beat Manor. We mean…everything. Like, we were wondering what to buy for the houseboy to use to clean the floors. Well, maybe a Swiffer Wet-Jet was the answer. But wait. What about the Clorox Ready-Mop? Is that better? We only have ONE CHANCE to get this right. Oh man, which to pick.
This is why we love the Internets! It didn’t take more than 30 seconds of googling to find this articleWhich mop is best? at SLATE no less! This woman drops kitty litter and orange juice on the floor and tests SEVEN different mops! WOW. This is like a FANTASY. It turns out the Swiffer does the best of the models we’d consider, but — and here is where it gets really freaky — it turns out the best mop of all is the old Medusa-head, friend of lonely sailors, Gene-Kelly-danced-with-one model!
Now this kind of makes sense, because many times we’ve been in a hospital, or detention, or a warehouse or whatever, and we’ll see some crazy old janitor dude cleaning up, and he is ALWAYS pushing around a Medusa-head mop! Always. And every time we see that, we think… “Man that mop head is FILTHY, isn’t it just pushing the dirt around???” but then we look at the floor, and we’re not saying we would eat off it but, it doesn’t look that bad.
It turns out the crazy old janitor dudes know best. But the medusa-head is too hard to wring out. So for SBM? Nothing but Swiffer will do!
“The Beat is blogging about mops!” you complain. “Has the Beat gone insane?”
Maybe a little.
[PS: yes yes, we know Mickey Mouse was menaced by a broom.]