Dear, dear Gerard Butler fans around the world are in mourning or denial after the wide distribution of holiday beach photos of the star sporting the kind of physique that screams “THIS! IS! CHEESECAKE! AND I’M EATING IT ALL!”
The fall from his 300 form is tragic, if human. Gawker uses the occasion to lobby for male stars being held to the same standards as the ladies where a photo with a few extra pounds can end a career.
For so many years Hollywood’s leading men, even of the leading and romantic varieties, have been allowed to fall into a state of disrepair after first seducing fans with their svelte physiques. Just look at Russell Crowe, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn. This was acceptable behavior, to get all big and bloated and still play men who women fawn all over in the movies. It seems like Fatty Butler is putting this to rest.
“Fatty” Butler. Why did it have to come to this? Well, it seems in recent junkets, DDGB has been chafing a bit against the harsh regime of an action star who must spend half his movie roles with no shirts (cf. LAW ABIDING CITIZEN), as he told one interviewer,“I wanna eat my potatoes and French fries and sponge cakes. When I play a role like this, I can’t have my carbs and it makes me crazy.”
But it isn’t just his jigglypuffs that is so, so disturbing about theses photos. What the FRAK is up with those swim trunks? PINK TRUNKS??? It’s a fact that pale colors like that make you look even chubbier, DDGB! And that pattern — did you lose your luggage and make an emergency stop at K-Mart? Even that would be no excuse for these hideous togs.
BUT, it is not all bad news for Gerry. Just yesterday misdemeanor charges that he assaulted a photog were dismissed. If convicted, he could have been jailed for up to six months, which would have given him lots of time to get in shape but probably would not have otherwise benefited his career.
FINALLY, last month Gerry was nominated for Scot of the Year, which sounds good, except that the other nominees include Susan Boyle–the way DDGB’s career is going, next thing you know, they’ll be starring in a rom-com.