Gerardbutler Beach
Dear, dear Gerard Butler fans around the world are in mourning or denial after the wide distribution of holiday beach photos of the star sporting the kind of physique that screams “THIS! IS! CHEESECAKE! AND I’M EATING IT ALL!”
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The fall from his 300 form is tragic, if human. Gawker uses the occasion to lobby for male stars being held to the same standards as the ladies where a photo with a few extra pounds can end a career.

For so many years Hollywood’s leading men, even of the leading and romantic varieties, have been allowed to fall into a state of disrepair after first seducing fans with their svelte physiques. Just look at Russell Crowe, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn. This was acceptable behavior, to get all big and bloated and still play men who women fawn all over in the movies. It seems like Fatty Butler is putting this to rest.


“Fatty” Butler. Why did it have to come to this? Well, it seems in recent junkets, DDGB has been chafing a bit against the harsh regime of an action star who must spend half his movie roles with no shirts (cf. LAW ABIDING CITIZEN), as he told one interviewer,“I wanna eat my potatoes and French fries and sponge cakes. When I play a role like this, I can’t have my carbs and it makes me crazy.”

But it isn’t just his jigglypuffs that is so, so disturbing about theses photos. What the FRAK is up with those swim trunks? PINK TRUNKS??? It’s a fact that pale colors like that make you look even chubbier, DDGB! And that pattern — did you lose your luggage and make an emergency stop at K-Mart? Even that would be no excuse for these hideous togs.

BUT, it is not all bad news for Gerry. Just yesterday misdemeanor charges that he assaulted a photog were dismissed. If convicted, he could have been jailed for up to six months, which would have given him lots of time to get in shape but probably would not have otherwise benefited his career.

FINALLY, last month Gerry was nominated for Scot of the Year, which sounds good, except that the other nominees include Susan Boyle–the way DDGB’s career is going, next thing you know, they’ll be starring in a rom-com.

1 COMMENT

  2. Christ. Thanks for this completely humorless early-morning dose of fat-hatred. I come to this blog for news about comics, not sizephobia.

  6. If you want to hold on to a glamorous image of movie stars, stop stalking them everywhere they go.
    On vacation. On hotel balconies. On mountain hikes. On road trips.

    I’m sure Mr. Butler will be just fine the next time he is ready for work.

  8. This article is like a turf floating in a punchbowl. I don’t want to see a Soap Opera Digest article in my Scientific American. I don’t expect to see Glenn Beck hosting a show on AMC. And I definitely don’t want to read this trashy crap on The Beat.

  11. Brian, I think you meant turd?

    Dear Dear Gerard Butler has been a supprting caracter in these here blog since it first debuted! If you don’t like nerdlebirties click on the next story!

  12. It’s also widely known that some stars let themselves go between movies. With the way things are now, with steroids and hgh, stars can see results faster as they cram their routine before a movie starts.
    I also remember butler saying he hated the work out for 300, which I found refreshingly honest. Plus he’s not THAT fat.

  13. Two “wah, why is there a non-comics story on The Beat” comments in the first ten?

    Getting the whining out early today, I guess.

    Good thing there was no “Monday Night Wars II” post the other day.

  14. I check this website everyday for interesting comic info delivered with thoughtful insight. I often get what I’m looking for. Other days I get It’s-My-Blog-And-I’m-Gonna-Use-It posts like this one. I normally laugh at them and move on.
    But when your friends-and-family clique decide to go all “Heathers”-y on the Hoi Poli who do comment, I feel very Christian Slater. I’m looking at you Coale (and I’m squinting like Nicolson so be scared).
    (Chapter Two: In which, pissed at Mark, I turn some ire your way)
    I think this blog is brought to us by a business relationship between you and Publisher’s Weekly. If they are sponsoring this blog, what do they want from this blog? Comic coverage or diary entries/Facebook posts?
    Maybe you could/should have an adjunct Blog for the non-comic stuff and for the FMB and the rest of the inner circle to snicker at the visiting nerds who want to read about comics.
    (Chapter Three: Since I’m typing already)
    About the actual post: It’s information that I’d not have gotten otherwise that may actually be handy. Next time one of my coworkers makes a crack about my flab I’ll be ready to smile, nod, and say “Yeah, I’ve got that Gerard Butler physique.”

  16. I’m more disturbed by the trailer for that bail-jumper rom-com he’s in with Jennifer Aniston. Aniston is a career-killer!

  19. People are not interested in my diary? I’m very offended!

    Seth, your post is interesting for SO MANY REASONS. Stay tuned! I note that you know what “FMB” means, so obviously you are a regular reader (I don’t mention him THAT often) and for that I am very very grateful.

    When I first started this blog (almost six years ago!) there was a lot of personal information included. Granted it was a different time in the blogosphere, but I quickly noted that this was the stuff people commented on and responded to the most. I’ve always tried not to let it TAKE OVER the blog, but it was a traffic building component — at first.

    Now I think people want a lot less personality and a lot more of what they would look for in a regular newssite, esp. in a site like this which has some newsy aspects to it.

    To be honest, celebrity news gets way more traffic here than comics news, sadly. My #1 visited post of all time is a picture of Hayden Panettiere in a bikini. My Gerard Butler posts over the years have gotten way more traffic than my posts about Kramer’s Ergot, which is depressing but the way of the world. I could easily DOUBLE my traffic by posting more nerdlebrity news as the expense of diluting my base.

    That said, I like to mix it up and I think many readers do as well. Given Butler’s abs and their importance to 300 — which is absolutely one of the most influential on the business comics movies of the last decade — I felt the absence of those abs deserved a post all their own.

  20. Personally, I wish the site didn’t have comments.

    But, heidi is the boss, so my articles have them.

    I eagerly await the “this isn’t comics” comments next month when the lost recaps resume.

  23. HA!
    a bunch of comic geeks bitch (or at least point out) that someone isn’t in perfect shape.

    everybody, hiedi and mark included, take off your shirts and look in the mirror.
    Mr Butler’s never went online and individually pointed out the conditions of our bodies.

    AND THIS IS A COMIC BOOK BLOG
    damn it.
    you pointed out Kirkman’s beard, but not the chins it may or may not be covering.

  24. “And I definitely don’t want to read this trashy crap on The Beat. ”

    Dude. This site is nothing BUT trashy crap by a hanger-on.

  25. hey, I didn’t make any comments about DDGB.

    I know how unpleasantly fat I am.

    Of course, i don’t post cheesecake pictures either. (unless it’s in the LOST recap thread.)

  28. Wow, I’d never have recognized him. Nor would I be remotely tempted to do him. DDGB, is this how you repay all those frat boys who boned up every time they saw “300”?! By betraying their secret lust with far too much fried food and the god-awfulest baggy swim trunks ever?

  31. As a guy who work out hard to stay fit, I have to admit some envy at the physiques in the movie 300 so it’s mildly humorous to see the star of the movie off his diet. I appreciated the post. But why all the strong opinions? He’s an actor! He’s a real person. Leave him alone. Back to the comics discussion shall we?