Activity page: What is wrong with this press release?
Based on the old Sci-fi Classic film, This January Bluewater Productions updates this classic in conjunction with Legend Films. Written by Jason Schultz and Darren G. Davis and penciled by John Polacek.
The film and comic series is described as, Lunar She-Devils lure Earthmen into their lair of doom! This is the one, the remake of the century, based on the legendary sci-fi thriller, “Cat-Women of the Moon.” On the first expedition to the moon, a race of sexy moon maidens living in a hidden lunar world capture astronauts for their “pleasure.” SEE the return of the giant hairy spider puppet as it lusts after female victims! SEE terrifying rock creature’s attack! SEE the unbelievable Atomic Rocketship make the fantastic journey through meteor-infested space lanes! SEE the “not-so-special” special effects in this cosmic entertainment catastrophe! Bizarre, fascinating, surreal and greatly entertaining, “Missile to the Moon” must be seen to be believed!
“This has been a labor of love since its conception more than a year ago, its going to be camp-tastic!”, said writer Jason Schultz. “You have hot scantily clad alien women, rock creatures and rockets – what else could you ask for in a comic”
“Working on this book has been a blast. From space monsters and gun fights, to alien babes and rocket ships, its definitely packed with a lot of fun stuff to draw”, said John Polacek.
“We are excited to be working with Bluewater Productions on the comic series,” stated Legend Films President Barry B. Sandrew. “We have seen what they have done with the Ray Harryhausen brand and can’t wait to see what they do with some of our films.”
So … is it a comic adaptation of “Cat-Women of the Moon”, “Missile to the Moon”, or “Manos: The Hands of Fate”?
Are you referring to it’s repetitive use of words, it’s self deprecating nature, the fact that they dare mess with anything with Rey Harryhausen’s name on it, the whole sexy babe angle, or just the plane fact that comics can do better? I’m sure they’re just trying to have some fun… while making a buck. Note to the artist: That kind of dress will not produce cleavage on a large breasted woman.
HEY! Happy Halloween everybody! What are dressing up as? I’m playing up the whole Twilight angle for my students, and being a slowly paced, non-eventful, vampire. :)
No title…
Pretty lame artwork – I would have sent a lobbycard styled piece of art with the full title treatment.
A pretentious press release…oh right, this is comics.
“what else could you ask for in a comic?”
Monkeys. You can always ask for more monkeys.
Thinking that the woman’s yellow shoes are not appropriate for the moon terrain, and that yellow is so passé.
And that there is little mention of the “team” and how well the “team” is performing, and how each and every one of them had dreamed in Technicolor and Vistavision about working together in a boffo Todd-AO production like this one.
According to the lede, the comic is titled “This January”.
Given the nature of the press release (drive-in sci-fi comics adapation), all sentences should end in exclamation points or question marks! (This is the first rule Disney comics copy editors learn.)
I cheated and ran it through MS Word. It didn’t catch many mistakes, but says the last sentence (“must be seen to be believed!”) is in the passive voice. Not an English major, but that sounds bad for an exciting press release.
Some of the “its” should be “it’s”. The first paragraph ends with a fragment, which kills the excitement theme that the PR is hoping to build. For example: “Written by Jason Schultz and Darren G. Davis and penciled by John Polacek, this comic blah blah blah…”
“We have seen what they have done with the Ray Harryhausen brand and can’t wait to see what they do with some of our films.”
Does this mean there are some films they want to prevent Bluewater from adapting?
Setting aside questions of style and sticking with just plan old grammatical errors:
There’s also the subject/verb agreement in the first sentence of the second paragraph (“The film and comic series is described…” should be “…are described…”) and the wayward comma after “as”
Depedning on whether “attack” is meant as a verb or a noun, the apostrophe in “SEE terrifying rock creature’s attack!” should either be removed (or the line rewritten as “SEE the terrifying rock creatures’ attack!”
There should be a question mark after the rhetorical question “what else could you ask for in a comic”
I believe the comma should come inside the quotation mark in the quote that ends “…fun stuff to draw”, said John Polacek” (But, admittedly, I’ve always been bad about comma placement with regard to parentheses and quotation marks.)
You know, for as much heat as Bluewater got for the numbers of stripes on their Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin covers, their error-ridden press-release writing style is in some ways even more disturbing. I don’t wish bad things for their projects, but seeing how unprofessional these releases are makes it difficult to wish them well…
Well, even with “hilarious” press releases, the fact that 5 sentences into the thing I have NO idea what the name of the comic is, who’s publishing it and what movie it’s based on. I’d say they forgot the #1 rule of a press release; PEOPLE ARE @#$% LAZY, DON’T MAKE GETTING INFO ABOUT YOU BOOK DIFFICULT!
All the yuks and guffaws can come once readers know what they are reading about, but even the picture has no info on what the book is named. If I saw this in my read pile, I’d pitch it, not knowing what it was supposed to be. On THIRD reading I figured out the title as being “This January” instead of that being WHEN it was coming out.
It may be boring to do this, but I think it’s truthful that buyers and reviewers are very busy people, so why risk having them trash your piece because you didn’t have it in a readable, simple to skim format?
Well, even with “hilarious” press releases, the fact that 5 sentences into the thing I have NO idea what the name of the comic is, who’s publishing it and what movie it’s based on. I’d say they forgot the #1 rule of a press release; PEOPLE ARE @#$% LAZY, DON’T MAKE GETTING INFO ABOUT YOUR BOOK DIFFICULT!
All the yuks and guffaws can come once readers know what they are reading about, but even the picture has no info on what the book is named. If I saw this in my read pile, I’d pitch it, not knowing what it was supposed to be. On THIRD reading I figured out the title as being “This January” instead of that being WHEN it was coming out.
It may be boring to do this, but I think it’s truthful that buyers and reviewers are very busy people, so why risk having them trash your piece because you didn’t have it in a readable, simple to skim format?
Well, even with “hilarious” press releases, the fact that 5 sentences into the thing I have NO idea what the name of the comic is, who’s publishing it and what movie it’s based on. I’d say they forgot the #1 rule of a press release; PEOPLE ARE @#$% LAZY, DON’T MAKE GETTING INFO ABOUT YOUR BOOK DIFFICULT!
All the yuks and guffaws can come once readers know what they are reading about, but even the picture has no info on what the book is named. If I saw this in my read pile, I’d pitch it, not knowing what it was supposed to be. On THIRD reading I figured out the title as being “This January” instead of that being WHEN it was coming out.
It may be boring to do this, but I think it’s truthful that buyers and reviewers are very busy people, so why risk having them trash your piece because you didn’t have it in a readable, simple to skim format?
Jesus, what isn’t wrong with that press release?
My guess:
The flag has the wrong number of stripes.
kdb
I think I’ve seen enough in the last few weeks to know that it would be a waste of time to buy anything produced by Bluewater Productions.
Also, making sure you don’t post your comment THREE TIMES like an idiot will make people have more faith in you as a publisher… NICE ONE, SIZER!
(I swear, I only hit “enter” once; maybe my evil twin posted the other two…)
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