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In these end times, we’ll likely see more of this kind of thing; a lone vigilante, striking out for justice, armed with a baton, a can of Freeze Plus P, and lead-lined gloves, until suffocating government interference shuts him down.

It all went down in Petoskey, MI where Mark Wayne Williams, 31, was peacefully minding his own business, climbing a building dressed as The Batman.

Alarmed residents in the town of 6000 called the police who arrived to find him on a rooftop in the center of town. You can imagine the vista of humanity — the good, the bad, the indifferent — that he beheld from his 30-ft vantage point. Police charged him with several felony counts of carrying concealed weapons, one count of carrying a gas-ejecting weapon and another count of creating a disturbance. The charges could net Williams up to five years in prison, and a $2500 fine.

It was only the latest episode in Williams’ quest to get attention from dressing as a comic book character — several years ago, he got some unwanted attention for dressing as The Crow. Police remain baffled by his motives, however:

“He really didn’t offer us any explanation,” Calabrese said when asked why Williams was in costume. “Our officers did not interrogate him at any length.”


To add insult to injury, the police unmasked the Batman, signing a virtual death warrant for his loved ones as Petoskey’s criminal underground seeks vengeance.

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And in case you’re wondering what a real life Batman might be charged with, were he ever apprehended by the police, here’s Williams’ rap sheet:

Mark Wayne Williams faces one count of carrying a concealed weapon, for allegedly carrying Freeze Plus P, a felony offense, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison or a $2,500 fine; one count of carrying a concealed weapon, for allegedly carrying a folding steel baton or bludgeon, a felony offense, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison or a $2,500 fine; one count of carrying a concealed weapon, for allegedly carrying weighted Sap (sand filled) gloves, a felony offense, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison or a $2,500 fine; one count of dangerous weapon — gas ejective device, a felony offense, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison and, or a $2,500 fine; one count of dangerous weapon — miscellaneous, for allegedly possessing a bludgeon, a felony offense, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison and, or a $2,500 fine; one count of dangerous weapon — miscellaneous, for allegedly possessing a sand bag, a felony offense, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison and, or a $2,500 fine; and one count of disturbing the peace, a misdemeanor offense with a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail and, or a $500 fine.

1 COMMENT

  1. I can understand the steel baton but would it be a felony to carry Freeze Plus P down the street in a shopping bag? How do people transport the stuff?

  2. As a rule, laws like that usually have some sort of defence (or the courts will imply one) that covers buying the article and bringing it home – at least if the article is otherwise legal and the statute plainly wasn’t intended to ban it.

  3. His middle name is “Wayne”. You think…maybe?…nah.

    Never understood why these knuckleheads will spend so much time and effort on their costumes, but can’t be bothered to do a sit-up or two every now and then.

    Say hi to the gang in Arkham, Mark.

  4. sure next thing you know they’ll say comics did this, He read it and now he’s thinks he’s batman. But I’ll bet it’s because he watch the movies, and thinks anyone can do this.
    Comics did create him, this isn’t someone who read comics, See kids, put the remote down and read a comic books instead.