See I tolja, it’s hard to be funny about this stuff any more with satirical sites the Onion and Clickhole, let alone ACTUAL sites like Daily Caller, Upworthy and thenTaboola promising 10 celebrity dogs who have aged badly at the end of everything we read on the ‘Net. A few people tried. io9 of all places had the old DC, Marvel Announce Merger story, albeit with some nice characterization:
“It’s like pie,” said Paul Levitz, President and Publisher at DC. “All these great flavors thrown into a bowl, mixed up with a bit of sugar and nutmeg, and now they all taste great together.”
Isaac Perlmutter, CEO of Marvel, nodded in agreement from the back of Levitz’ head. “I think it’s the best for all parties concerned,” he said in a half-rasp, now utilizing the same vocal cords as Levitz. “This merger is something we’ve been looking forward to, for ages. And now it’s here.”
The now leaderless, anarchic confederation known as the Outhouse announced that Heidi MacDonald—that’s me—would be taking over as editor in chief following Christian Hofer’s ankling a month ago.
“We’re really glad to have Heidi on board,” said Outhouse Ace Reporter Jude Terror at a hastily convened April 1st press conference. “I think that she brings a level of respect and professionalism that, frankly, we could really use. Sure, associating with us is likely to drag her reputation down, but as long as we meet somewhere in the middle, it’s a net gain… for us at least.”
According to Terror, MacDonald’s tenure will begin immediately, “as soon as she reads this article and finds out she’s got the job. Yeah, maybe we should have asked her first. Well, I’m sure she’ll say yes.” “I mean, could you say no to this face?” Terror asked, making his best attempt at puppy dog eyes, but looking more like he was suffering from a bad case of indigestion. “Could you?! Don’t answer that.”
Bleeding Cool unleashed a string of posts that were so indistinguishable from their actual content that a few hours letter they had to make sure everyone know they were jokes:
- Mark Millar Has Totally Ghost-Written Today’s Wonder Woman #40
- 26 Headlines About 26 Comics – Convergence To Spider-Gwen
- Forever Con To Launch In Exactly 1 Year. Then Never Stop.
- FIFA 13 Remaster Coming To PlayStation 4 And Xbox One
Heidi MacDonald is the founder and editor in chief of The Beat. In the past, she worked for Disney, DC Comics, Fox and Publishers Weekly. She can be heard regularly on the More To Come Podcast. She likes coffee, cats and noble struggle.