Comments on: Monkey attacks!

By: Louis

Louis — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 05:57:52 +0000

you are all sick in the fucking head i mean shooting a monkey with a bb gun thats fine it doesnt actualy do anything but u setof a fucking explosive in food that u wasted and could have just given them what is the matter with all of u?

By: monkeyshoota

monkeyshoota — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:43:45 +0000

Best way to handle upset monkeys is to shoot them with a bb gun. If you want to upset them then just pop them in the leg or chest. If you really want to do some damage pump it up real good and shoot at the face. Monkeys don’t blink real fast so a good shot to the eye will freak them out. They let out a real loud monkey noise and run in circles. The other monkeys will start screaming too, eventually they all run away.

By: getouttheway

getouttheway — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:45:11 +0000

I agree with “original leather”. I actually tried the “tasty treat” trick….it works quite well. I put an M-80 fire cracker inside a banana….I used a really long fuse so it would go off just as the little pecker put the M-80 portion in his mouth. His head blew up like a ripe tomato. I really don’t think he knew what hit him. You should have seen the look on the other monkey’s faces…..they all scattered like roaches. Hopefully they will discuss this incident at their next meeting and behave themselves in public.

By: Eric Holliday

Eric Holliday — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:02:54 +0000

It really bothers me that some on this site would allow harm to come to these docile creatures. They are just small animals looking for food. We don’t need more conservatives talking about killing monkeys. We need monkey protection! Sure they kill a random person here or there but that is an accepted risk. Occasionally there are bad monkeys out there. Maybe they were raised by violent monkey parents or had a traumatic monkey childhood. You don’t really know. Be nice to all monkeys and they will be nice to you. If one chews off your face then it is probably karma.

By: stopdamonkeeeeee

stopdamonkeeeeee — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:33:25 +0000

You killed a whole monkey family? Are you sure it was monkeys and not people? Some people closely resemble some monkeys. They will make a lot of noise, they are real strong and they might bite off your ears. Disgusting little animals in a disgusting country. Monkeys will stalk you. They will also try to mug you. It’s a little like NYC without rap music.

By: goodgrief

goodgrief — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:52:10 +0000

Yeah….I visited India once, what a sewer pipe of a country….and the people…..boy do they smell. The monkeys just run the place. Monkey poop everywhere with gangs of them just watching every move you make. Once I saw a mother monkey eat all 5 of her baby monkeys. Then one morning I was out for a walk and 3 big monkeys started stalking me….following me about 20 yards behind. I waited until I got to a good spot and quickly turned around and shot all three of them with my .32 auto… Boy what a funny site….blood everywhere…..you should have seen the on-lookers (the more timid monkeys) scatter. People should resort to this type of defense against those annoying animals when traveling in India and Pakistan.

By: Kevin Miller

Kevin Miller — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:05:31 +0000

I really don’t like monkeys. Monkeyhater has the right idea. When I lived in India (wow, what a disgusting country w/ annoying people) I was bitten several times by those little varmints. They look at you with that red face, grab at your clothes and then bite. They chewed off my brother’s nose. Once I split a monkey head open with a baseball bat. It spewed like a grapefruit. All the other monkeys shrieked and ran off.

By: monkeyhater

monkeyhater — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:27:30 +0000

I think someone should shove a flaming broom (handle first)up one of them’s rear with barbed hooks so it won’t come out…ignite the other end using roofing tar on the straw end. That should get the attention of the other group members to simmer down a bit on all that wild behavior.

By: JohnnyShiva

JohnnyShiva — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:49:11 +0000

I say quirt gas at them and tase them. A few burning monkeys wildly screaming… that news will travel to the other monkeys pretty fast. You will get no more toothy grins out of them then.

By: original leather

original leather — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:34:15 +0000

To discourage the little bastards from begging and robbing tourist of food and their personal possessions……give them tasty treats wrapped with cherry bombs and M-80’s. That will spook’em and curb their nasty behavior.

By: JohnnyShiva

JohnnyShiva — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:24:41 +0000

They should just go kill all these little monkeys. Don’t let their “cuteness” fool you, they are nasty little creatures. They should twist off their “sacred” little heads one by one.

By: original leather

original leather — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:12:55 +0000

I’d round up those little bastards and smoke’em.

By: Blah...Blah...Ya..Right..

Blah...Blah...Ya..Right.. — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 23:10:27 +0000

Monkies don’t attack people….i love them and i saw this in the middle of me printing pictures of harmless monkies to fill my door way…they don’t attack…and who would be a person to makes robots to hurt or even kill monkies?Why would you do that? Monkies are cute and innocent…..haha..

By: Tinpan

Tinpan — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:01:34 +0000

Unfortunately, in both cases they’re sacred monkeys. The only thing that can defeat them are sacred robots.

By: James Kochalka

James Kochalka — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 16:57:24 +0000

I can’t believe anyone hasn’t thought of the obvious. To fight the monkeys, they need to bring in ROBOTS. Haven’t they read Monkey Vs. Robot?